Chow down at the Championship’s biggest stadium this Sunday

Newcastle fans desperately searching for a Father’s Day gift for the old man they don’t particularly like are in luck.

The club are advertising a lunch at St James’ Park this Sunday, designed to remind maligned relatives of the misery they have had to endure for the past year at the home of the Magpies. And it’s only £19.95 per person (or a seemingly impossible £9.975 for kids) - that kind of money wouldn’t buy a bread roll at a Premier League ground!

Don’t delay - remind your dad of the disappointment his club have piled on him now! (Just don’t blame us if the chefs turn out to be as incompetent as the board.)

Before The Spoiler was distracted by this thoroughly tempting offer, we were going to mention the fact that Newcastle appear to have neglected Alan Shearer in their future plans. Season ticket applications have finally been sent out to fans, and the accompanying literature makes no reference to the latest Geordie Messiah.

The soft southern journalists at the Daily Mail believe Chris Hughton will take the managerial reins at the club, fulfilling the wishes of managing director Derek Llambias.