Spurs star wrongfully accused of driving violation

Yesterday, the Tottenham squad flew off to Beijing for a pointless money-spinner pre-season friendly with West Ham, but Darren Bent was hauled off the plane at the eleventh hour as his switch to Sunderland finally went through. The underperforming hitman, however, wasn’t the only one to miss the flight, as Jermain Defoe found himself in a spot of bother with the law.

Defoe was pulled over by traffic police yesterday, who believed he was banned from driving. The striker explained that a six month penalty imposed earlier this month was suspended pending appeal, but the fuzz were having none of it, and threw him in a cell at the station in Harlow, Essex for five hours. Unlike a certain member of the Tottenham squad, it is believed the 26-year-old did not cry or wet himself while in police custody.

He was eventually freed at 9am yesterday, after it was revealed the ‘Police National Computer’ [the what?] had not been updated.

After losing five hours in which he could have been boffing ladies he met in Movida, it is understood Defoe may sue for his wrongful imprisonment.