… a bit rubbish

This week, John Barnes and Barnsley FC’s resident poet Ian McMillan judged the government-backed ‘Get On’ competition, in which fans from hundreds of clubs submitted chants that they had written themselves.

Southend Utd fan Terry Cockell penned an ode to Dougie Freedman set to the tune of The Wombles. Despite picking a melody that is rather more synonymous with AFC Wimbledon, the 39-year-old accountant’s effort won the grand prize, which was a trip to a recording studio.

Here are the lyrics to Britain’s Best Football Chant:

Underground, overground signed on a free,

He’s Dougie Freedman of S.U.F.C.

Scores goals for fun, he’s blue through and through,

Better watch out ‘cos he’ll score against you.

John Barnes - whose Anfield Rap helped Liverpool lose the 1988 FA Cup Final - was full of indifferent praise for the winning chant:

”It was a difficult decision because there were lots of good chants, but this was the best one.”

Poet and fellow judge Ian McMillan was a little more expressive when outlining the criteria for a winning chant:

”Memorability is the main thing; you’ve got to sing it so it helps if it’s easy to remember.

”It helps if the chant is short, pithy and witty. It’s got to rhyme and it is even more likely to succeed if set to an existing tune.”

The Freedman chant made us smile, but we can’t see it catching on at Roots Hall.

[The Telegraph]