Man Utd’s squad, on the other hand, get a gold star…

Over the years it’s become apparent footballers have a hard time travelling in cars without crashing, vomiting, or embarrassing themselves. But what about other methods of transport? Sunday’s feature in The Times on cabin crew secrets revealed flying habits of some of the Premier League’s finest:

“We often get football teams flying to European games, and it’s always interesting to see how they behave. Without doubt the rudest was Spurs. They were going to Prague a couple of years ago, and they were all very impolite. None of them said thank you for anything. One player in particular, a striker, sat with his headphones on and refused to take them off, and none of them would lift their window blinds for takeoff and landing.

By contrast, Manchester United were incredibly polite. Sir Alex Ferguson was all “yes please, no thank you”, and all the team were exactly the same. They were all linked up together playing Fifa football on their Game Boys or PlayStations or whatever they were. They were like a bunch of little schoolboys. The only one who wasn’t playing was Ronaldo, who just rolled his eyes at me whenever I walked down the plane, as if to say, “Look what I have to put up with, with these kids.”