Feigning blindness didn’t get him an easy ride…

Diego Maradona’s post-World Cup qualification uber-cussing (”you lot suck my d**k” or “you lot take it up the a**e”, depending on what side of the equator you reside on), has earned him a two month ban and a fine of almost £14,815.

Directed at journalists who he claimed “treated [him] like garbage”, the outburst came at the end of a qualifying campaign fraught with personal attacks sent back and forth between the tubby manager and the Argentinean media.

After a three-hour meeting in Zurich, 40 minutes of which Maradona spent apologising, the FIFA disciplinary committee handed down a ban meaning he will not be able to coach until January 16 - pretty much amounting to a two month paid vacation, since Argentina won’t play any competitive games in that period anyway.

It’s nice to see FIFA have their priorities in order - according to their recent rulings, are we to take it that sustained racist abuse from fans (like the type the Croatian FA were fined £14,920 for after England’s World Cup qualifier last year) is only £105 worse than Maradona’s misdemeanor?