Behold, football’s greatest author!

We hate to say it, but it’s rare to find a footballer with a wonderful book in him. So, what joy that Antonio Cassano has two! Albeit books that were probably written using the Jordan Method of standing near-naked in a room barking sentences at a ghost writer, whose job it was to tearfully cobble the mess together long into the night.

First time around, Cassano gave the world his magnificent autobiography Dico Tutto (translation: I’ll Tell You Everything), in which the notoriously hot-headed Sampdoria striker stuck to his word, and wowed the football world with sexual revelations:

“I have been with 600-700 women, some twenty of them from the entertainment world.”

“I had a friend who was a waiter. His job was to bring me 3 or 4 croissants after I had sex.”

He even went into rather graphic detail about how he once told Fabio Capello that he was “more fake than Monopoly money”, which must have stung the then-Real Madrid boss.

His latest humble offering to the literary world is poetically called Mornings Are Pointless (And 364 other Cassanate, in the form of aphorisms, for living a year like a fantasista), and the book features wonderful little nuggets, like:

“Don’t be impulsive. Do like I do. Before exploding, always count at least to one.”

And:

“I hope to go to the World Cup in South Africa, I will do the maximum to achieve that. If I don’t, I’ll go to South Africa anyway, to go on safari with Catalina.”

“I am the first person to have written more books than I have read,” boasted Cassano during the promotional run.

Perhaps someone should tell him about Jordan?

[Marca]