Two men, countless issues

Superstitious people will probably tell you that the left back berth in the England team is a poisoned chalice. Many have suffered problems in that position - just ask Phil Neville, or Graeme Le Saux, who played pretty well, but was often lambasted for being all clever and that.

Start Pearce, one of the greatest of the lot, missed an important penalty once.

And now, reports from all of the most important dailies (The Mirror, The Independent, The Daily Mail) suggest that both Wayne Bridge and Ashley Cole are due some emergency counseling in the very immediate future to mend their addled minds.

In the case of Bridge, the whisper on the grapevine is that Capello wasn’t blown away by Leighton Baines’ showing on Wednesday, so plans to break his unusual code of silence concerning his players by treating the Man City man to a heart-to-heart. The consensus being that if the Italian can just speak to Bridge, he’ll realise how ridiculous this whole mess is.

Bridge’s team mate, Gareth Barry, certainly seems to think that he’ll return from the wilderness:

“I think at this moment in time we are all respecting Wayne’s decision.”

“But the manager has left the chance for Wayne to come back so he has still maybe got a decision to make.”

And down in the sunny depths of France, a sports psychologist has been rumoured to be lurking around a bearded Ashley Cole, attempting to guide his confused brain through the choppy waters that come as a result of a nasty injury combined with the collapse of sensual union with a beautiful pop star.

Who’d want to be a left back, eh?