“El Special Uno”

Of course, after dropping out of Europe with a whimper last night, the whole of Madrid is up in arms, inwardly - and in some cases, quite outwardly - chanting for the head of Manuel Pellegrini

And luckily, The Spoiler is rather well connected with the bronze people of sunny Spain, and the big news filtering in from Spanish television is that Jose Mourinho has already signed up to manage Real Madrid next season.

It wouldn’t be the most shocking turn of events - Mourinho has had a particularly fractious time of things in Italy - although it had been widely considered that his next move would be back to the Premier League, to either Man City or Liverpool.

Further whispers suggest that Real approached Mourinho in February, and that they are even willing to cough up the £6million that it would take to release him from his current contract with Inter, which is set to run for another three years. 

You heard it here first.

Or, if you happen to be Spanish, like, ninth.