Wayne Rooney - couldn’t hair less

In life, it’s all about finding the positive angle in a bad situation - commonly known as the “silver lining”. Hence why fat people call themselves “big boned”.

Another such master of positive reinforcement was the Big Bad Wolf in the *Little Red Riding Hood stories, who managed - quite admirably - to find a positive spin when answering the cheeky little hoodie’s backhanded compliments about the size of his teeth.

And now, you can add Wayne Rooney to that list.

As reported in today’s Daily Mail, the prolific striker has put his marvelous form with his head down to the fact that he’s rapidly losing his hair. He said this:

“It’s coming off my bald patch and that’s helping me score.”

“I’ve been working on my heading a lot and thankfully it’s paying off.”

Of course, should this alarming hair loss continue, Rooney may yet find himself inked in alongside the great bald footballers from years gone by - Zidane, Bobby Charlton, Lombardo, and any number of others whom you might care to remind us of in the comments section (below).

*Fact fans might be interested to learn that one school of thought suggests that the story of Little Red Riding Hood is a veiled warning about the dangers of prostitution - the red cloak being the choice uniform of women on the game in 17th Century France.