Former Coventry and Norwich star living it up in California

Darren Huckerby was the inspiration behind Coventry finishing 11th in the 1997/98 Premier League, and since then he has floated around at Leeds, Manchester City, Nottingham Forest, Norwich, and now San Jose in America. Such has been his immediate impact over in the MLS that he has been named ‘The Sheriff of San Jose’, as his goals and assists have fired the San Jose Earthquakes towards the play-offs.

Despite now earning just $355,000 a year Huckbery claims he has never been happier, and many would argue that he’s having a more successful time than another English winger giving the American dream a bash.

Angry Arsene demands that his players grow

Frenchman Arsene Wenger decided that the reason Arsenal lost to Hull City on Saturday was down to size and declared: “I believe that we have more a size problem than quality in our defending problem.”

Wenger, bubbling with fury, was incensed by conceding yet another goal from a set piece. “Our centre backs are not very tall. I don’t know what we can do… as a team we are a bit short.”

Might The Spoiler suggest buying someone who isn’t a dwarf/elf/child?

Another weekend, another handful of bogus penalties…

Another week of Premier League action has passed and once again it’s the officials who have been rattling football cages. Rob Styles, a smartly dressed ref, confused Jlloyd Samuel’s excellent tackle on Ronaldo with an uncoordinated lunge, and immediately pointed to the spot. Diarra handled the ball for Portsmouth and got away with it, and Steve Bennett awarded a perfectly decent penalty, albeit one involving the most elaborate Willem Defoe from Platoon impression The Spoiler has ever seen.

Everyone’s been yapping their disapproval, is it time we just said to hell with it and demanded video evidence? Bolton probably think so…

Christian Abbiati isn’t your average goalkeeper

Footballers aren’t always the ones you expect to become leading commentators on politics, but Christian Abbiati, the reserve keeper over in Milan, has hit the headlines for choosing to share his political views with the world. “I am not ashamed of showing my political beliefs,” honked the shot stopper having already dropped this bombshell on the planet: “I agree with some aspects of fascism like patriotism and the values of the Catholic religion.”

In fairness to the woefully misinformed footballer, he did go on to explain how he wasn’t a racist and wasn’t really feeling the whole Hitler thing either - he just liked the general vibe. A bit like one of those people who go to car parks to watch doggers but not actually join in, we suppose. Is that such a crime?

Word has it that he likes his defence organised. Very organised.

If you look closely enough, it’s not all bad

Newcastle haven’t won a game for a month now, they don’t have a permanent manager - damn it, even Terry Venables doesn’t want anything to do with them. But are things really so bad up at St James’ Park? Like, HONESTLY? The Spoiler decided to search of a silver lining, and guess what brothers and sisters? We found one. You can welcome Blackburn Rovers with confidence, children of Newcastle, here’s why:

1. Newcastle haven’t failed to score in any home game this season and their opponents on Saturday, Blackburn, haven’t scored more than one goal in any of their last four.

2. The last time Keegan walked out on a club it took the team a couple of games to settle - Man City didn’t win until their third league game in the post Keegan era, a 1-0 victory over Liverpool. And with this Saturday the third league game for Newcastle post Keegan, maybe it’s a good omen?

They do it in sunny Spain, so why not in rainy England?

After the spanking Arsenal gave Sheffield United (15th in the Championship) with their youngest ever team this week, The Spoiler is totally convinced that they could win The Championship.

In the last few seasons, young Arsenal Carling Cup sides have beaten Blackburn, Sheffield United (twice), Newcastle, Tottenham (in 2006/07) , Liverpool, Everton and West Brom - but would they be able to cope with the physicality of the Championship, or would the free flowing football ensure they won the league at a stroll?

Barcelona famously have their B team, Barcelona Atletic, and Real Madrid have their Castilla playing in the lower divisions - should the Big Four have the same priviledge here?

Liverpool star won’t be signing any scraps of paper today

Poor old Philip Degen had a rubbish Tuesday night. Having been overlooked for all the important Liverpool matches, he was finally granted a run out against Crewe in the ‘waste of time’ Worthington Cup, shortly before puncturing a lung.

To add insult to injury, he was then pestered by hysterical autograph hunters as he lay in hospital awaiting treatment. Degen commented, “All the other patients recognised me. But the doctors imposed an autographs ban - I was not allowed to sign any.” Quite when this particular ban comes to an end is unclear.

Still, could be worse, he could be Joey Barton.

Do the words “reigning champs” mean nothing any more?

Arsenal and Manchester United will play on the same night in the Champions League this year, and it was widely expected that Man United would get the top ITV1 billing, while the cheerful Arsenal chimney sweeps would have to make do with ITV4 - a channel that does exists, but no one has ever seen. A bit like Michael Owen’s funny side.

Anyway, the bosses over at ITV have decreed that the nation would much rather sit through Wenger’s liquid football than Ronaldo and co smashing their opposition to smithereens.

But are they right? Let us know with a comment, neutrals…