If you fancy buying some drugs on a night out, head to Essex!

The highest concentration of WAG and footballer activity can be found in the overpriced clubs of Soho. But for a more relaxed (cheaper) evening, many head towards the provinces, and in particular Faces Nightclub in Gants Hill.

Where: On the Cranbrook road in Gants Hill, a stone’s throw from the Tube station. If lost, one of the local drug dealers will happily point you in the right direction.

How much: Entry is a modest ten pounds, but you can

Adrian Mutu’s “friend” has a real career and stuff

The Italian gossip industry has been all a-twitter this week with claims that Adrian Mutu, who used to take coke for Chelsea, has been playing away from home. Now at Fiorentina and with a wife and three kids, Adrian has still found time, say the tittle-tattles, to steamroller 23-year-old actress Martina Stella.

Martina’s acting career has mainly unfolded on Italian TV, but she got her

They like to settle disputes with bloody brawls

It’s generally accepted that mild aggression has a part to play in ice hockey, yet here’s a bout of fisticuffs from Tuesday night that would make

This Italian soubrette is about to own a stake in QPR

Italian businessman is Flavio Briatore is known by most as the MD of the Renault F1 team and part owner of Queens Park Rangers. Among gorgeous women, however, he is known only as a breathtaking inferno of sexuality, on a par with the Brad Pitts of this world. This accounts for why the 57-year-old has

Cuckolding WAG has bizarre botox procedure

On my daily quest to defame Britain’s favourite serial WAG/ racist, I stumbled upon this story. I still can’t quite believe it can be real, but it is being carried by several Lloyd fan blogs and she’s superficial enough to do it. Anyway, if it helps to lower her in the estimation of society, then it’s good enough for me:

Danielle Lloyd has had Botox injected in her armpits in a desperate bid to cure her sweat problem.

The former Miss Great Britain was so

Spotted! West Ham’s Peruvian, Nolberto Solano, wheeling - according to our spotter - “a medium-sized trolley” into Tesco in Epping on Sunday. Solano, who moved to London to be closer to his family (although surely moving to Peru would have better accomplished that goal), has obviously picked up some bad habits in the north east. A word of advice, Nolberto:

American superhero makes the hardest moves look so easy

When he’s not enjoying some time on the basketball court or taking time out from a hectic schedule to defend himself in court, LA Lakers superstar Kobe Bryant likes to

National broadcaster confuses unhappy pensioner with rowdy protest Following the announcement that Fabio Capello would be taking the reins at England HQ, I went and checked out the ‘fierce protests’ at Soho Square. When I arrived, the rowdy anti-Capello xenophobic yobs I had been promised turned out to be just one man. A retired policeman called Ray, whose main complaint was the price of his train fare.

His picture has crept up again today on the BBC website, in an article in which ancient Swiss bureaucrat Sepp Blatter voices concern for a foreign England manager. The caption ‘An England supporter protests against Capello’s appointment’ implies