World Cup Qualifier, Tonight, 8pm, ITV1, bet here

The road to South Africa has been uncannily smooth for a side that couldn’t make it to the Euro 2008 starting line, with spread punters who got with Don Fabio’s side generally happier than those who didn’t.

They gave Croatia double trouble with a 4-1 smash and grab in Zagreb and a good old-fashioned 5-1 hiding at home as spread buyers of Three Lions’ total goals spread were left thinking ‘with games like these, who needs friendlies?’. Sporting Index’s total goals spread buyers who keep the faith for the Belarus game will feel safe in the knowledge England have averaged over three goals-a-game in Group Six. And, if that wasn’t enough for spread sellers to be cautious, then they’ll remember that two from Wayne Rooney and another from fellow Scouser Steven Gerrard helped their side breach the Belarusian goalkeeper’s net three times in Minsk. Despite neither man set to feature tonight, their deputies should be more than capable of filling their shoes. Meanwhile,

The times they are a-changin’ at Spoiler Towers

For nearly two years, it has been my absolute pleasure to bring you football news, utterly scurrilous rumours, the world’s best WAGs and frequent spelling mistakes on this site.

Among other things, I’ve waxed lyrical about Cristiano Ronaldo’s unfaltering vanity, Shola Ameobi’s pseudo-robbery, Jermaine Pennant’s questionable attitude towards fidelity and Joe Kinnear’s utter disregard for the concept of media training. The site has won high praise from The Telegraph and The Guardian, kudos from the BBC and Sky Sports, hatred from talkSPORT motormouth Stan Collymore and a Playboy model, and I was even asked by Sky News for my opinion on Joey Barton’s extra-curricular activities. (My invite back to Sky must have got lost in the post, but good times all the same.)

So it is with great melancholy that I announce that my tenure as Editor of The Spoiler ends today. From next week, I will be extolling the virtues of self improvement, having accepted the position as Deputy Editor of Men’s Health Online. Of course, I’m very excited by this new challenge - and the near guarantee of cultivating washboard abs! - but, understandably, I’m feeling a little John-Terry-post-Champions-League-Final about leaving all this behind.

I owe a huge thank you to the readers who have chosen to lower their productivity by spending time on this site, my fellow football bloggers and the good folks at Grand Parade. Without your continued support, I would have been turning tricks on the virtual street long ago.

I genuinely hope you’ve enjoyed reading it as much as I’ve enjoyed writing it.

Of course, The Spoiler will keep on rockin’ without my daily input, but you haven’t completely got rid of me just yet, as I’ll crop up now and again in an Editor-at-Large capacity. A handsome young devil by the name of Eliot will be stepping into my flip flops and fetid dressing gown for the next few weeks, and unlike Tranmere Rovers under John Barnes, he’s well worth sticking around for. So please do.

Cheers,

Ryan

Jody Craddock is a dab hand with a brush and pallette

Footballers are blessed with more down time than most, but Xboxes, nightclub prowling and the constant need to purchase unnecessary and grotesque luxury lifestyle products generally prevent them from doing anything remotely constructive. Bucking the trend is Wolves captain Jody Craddock, who spends his time away from the pitch cultivating his artistic side.

These portraits look like photos that have been put through Photoshop filters, but on his official website, Craddock assures us that he produced these in front of a canvas and easel with his own fair hand.

The centre-back has asked Twitter followers to help him name the recently finished painting above, settling on “The Huddle”. Presumably, our idea of “Team Talk That Resulted in a 1-0 Defeat” wouldn’t have gone down so well.

Check out some more of Craddock’s work after the jump…

American football fan shows passion, mild insanity

It’s typical. You wait for ages for a decent long-range header then two come along at once. A few days ago, Boca Juniors’ Martin Palermo scored his 200th Argentinean league goal with a freak 43-yard header. And then, with bus-like regularity, Panithinaikos midfielder Kostas Katsouranis bagged a similar - albeit slightly less impressive - brain cell-killing effort.

Check out Palermo’s forehead of steel after the jump…

Also appearing on a computer near you…

Fabio Cannavaro inspires the Five Worst Doping Excuses list
[Off The Post]

Sulley Muntari dismisses rumours of a Tottenham switch
[Goal.com]

As always, Sergio Ramos looks ri-god-damn-diculous
[Kickette]

Cheryl Cole is hot, confusing
[Dirty Tackle]

West Ham target Luca Toni wants a move to Napoli
[Daily Mail]

Bye bye Peter Taylor
[LMA]

Carlo Ancelotti backs his former employer Milan to improve, probably with a huge grin on his face
[The Mirror]

The Spoiler finds out more about Portsmouth’s new owner

When Portsmouth owner Sulaiman Al-Fahim (pictured) realised he didn’t even have enough money to buy a shirt that fits him properly, he sold 90 per cent of his share in the south coast club to Ali Al-Faraj. Keen to discover more about the mystery Saudi Arabian businessman, The Spoiler went in search of some facts. Then, we wrote them down and published them, Because we’re nice like that…

• Al-Faraj is forty years old, he is a Saudi property investor, and he is “a huge supporter of the English Premiership”. Crucially, he is also the figurehead of the super powerful Al-Faraj family. Said power is fuelled by a healthy stake in behemoth petroleum peddler SABIC (Saudi Basic Industries Corporation). The billion-dollar company manufactures chemicals, fertilisers, plastic and metals and is a major player in the Saudi region.

• While Sulaiman Al-Fahim desperately tries to raise his profile by posing with Pamela Anderson and fronting the UAE’s crappy version of The Apprentice, Al-Faraj is notoriously private, shunning almost all media attention. Very little is known about his personal life and he has never been photographed for publicity purposes. Here’s a candid shot of him.

• Brits aren’t the only ones who have never heard of Al-Faraj - his fellow Saudis haven’t either. Dr Hafez Almedlej, chairman of the Saudi Professional League, said:  “I’ve never heard of him.

  

Real Madrid star should probably stick to the day job

Clearly in need of a little bit of extra cash, Cristiano Ronaldo has agreed to sing in an advert for Banco Espírito Santo, a Portuguese bank.

Is it just us, or is it reassuring to know that there are some things C-Ron isn’t good at?