Manchester Utd star subdued after Champions League brace

Bulgarian striker Dimitar Berbatov isn’t usually a beaming ray of sunshine, but you can usually count on him to convey some expression of delight after scoring. After breaking his Manchester Utd duck in Denmark last night, however, he looked like a child who had just been told his puppy has been run over, and he barely mustered a smile when he bagged a second.

So why no celebration? Is he ashamed of his anonymous start with the Red Devils? Or is he just too cool for school?

Let us know your theories below…

Berbs finally scores, Arsenal get over Hull misery

Porto may have won the Champions League four years ago when a certain Mr Mourinho was calling the shots, but last night they appeared far too distracted by Robin van Persie’s 14-year-old French exchange student haircut, as he and Emmanuel Adebayor sunk them 4-0.

Meanwhile, over in Denmark, Aalborg’s ropey defending was punished by a stroppy Bulgarian man, who managed to bag his first goals for United.

Champions League, 7.45pm, ITV4, Free £10 bet

Sir Alex Ferguson is still haunted by his last trip to Denmark two years ago when he decided to rest a few key players and wound up losing 1-0. Seeing Bruce Rioch’s Aalborg leave Celtic with a point a fortnight ago won’t have soothed those fears, but Sir Alex needn’t worry - the handsome devils at chickendinner believe Manchester United will come out on top, with Ronaldo (who evidently has to use the toilet just like us humans) scoring the opener:

1. While Aalborg won their two home qualifiers, their league form has been dire - drawing one and losing three of their four home games.

2. Manchester United’s unbeaten run in the Champions League now stretches to fourteen games.

3. The Red Devils drew their opening qualifier with Villarreal three years ago but recovered to triumph in the second against Benfica.

4. United’s first home win of last season kicked off a run of eleven consecutive victories (excluding Carling Cup). Ferguson’s side got their first home win this season (excluding Carling Cup) against Bolton on Saturday.

5. Sir Alex Ferguson’s side won five of their six group games last year and only dropped points against the strongest team (Roma).

Why Ronaldo should be first goalscorer

» Twice since March 29, Cristiano Ronaldo has scored

UEFA have been playing with the crazy pots again

The good officials of the Champions League gathered around the trough in Monaco this afternoon, pausing briefly to pompously remove some plastic footballs from mixing bowls in one of their favourite little rituals.

As per, various pundits and sundry authorities were on hand to discuss the mouth-watering nature of the dance card, while those associated with the managerial side of things vowed not to underestimate anybody, as decreed by UEFA’s guidelines on how to talk to the press at times such as this.

Of the English teams, Liverpool probably feel the men in blazers could have looked harder to find them a couple of soft sides, but at least