Catalonian giants preparing for a mass exodus

Should you be wandering past a giant television set playing tonight’s Barcelona game, be sure to give it a quick glance and a nod, because chances are you won’t be seeing this group of players so spectacularly failing together again. It should never have been like this.

Taking their cue from the film Escape to Victory (Pele, Ardiles, Bobby Moore, Sly Stallone) or the Real Madrid “Galacticos” (Figo, Zidanne, Roberto Carlos, Beckham, Ronaldo, Raul), the Catalan side made big steps in building a superstar team, only to come hugely unstuck - realising that big names don’t always gel (Abramovich take note). Henry, Ronaldinho, Deco and Eto’o would be the star players at practically any other club in Europe, but Messi has seriously messed with their chi, and stolen their thunder… by being utterly brilliant. Hence, over the summer months expect to see them disbanding, all harrumphing off to different corners of Europe (mainly London) to be soaked in the kind of glory they demand.

Of the smaller names, defender Eric Abidal is rumoured to be Liverpool bound, Iniesta has been approached by Real Madrid – with gigantic figures like 60 million Euros being hurled around - and Zambrotta has failed to light up Spain regardless of his impressively sculpted mini-beard, and could be heading back to Italy where they love fashionably assembled stubble.