Reliving the half-time break during THATNIGHTINISTANBUL™

The red-tops have finally picked up on the spoof Liverpool documentary ‘Fifteen Minutes That Shook the World’ (which The Spoiler brought you news of a full two months ago); giving us the opportunity to repost this genius trailer.

Would you get this in the Premier League?

More heartwarming tales of football’s most stand-up guys. Former Brazilian international midfielder Amaral recently published this thank you note in ALPHA, an Australian sports magazine. It came in response to A-League team Perth Glory offering him a second crack at playing professional football, after his original spell at the club was scuppered through injury.

[Soccerlens via The Offside]

Milan, Juve and Inter well represented at ‘worst player’ ceremony

Serie A’s least coveted award has revealed its ten player shortlist.The Bidone d’Oro (Golden Bin) award annually recognises the terrible efforts of some of Italy’s worst performers. Past winners include Christian Vieri, Adriano and Rivaldo.

Most of the 2009 list will read like a who’s who of dodged bullets for Premier League clubs.

Last year’s winner, Inter Milan and Chelsea reject Ricardo Quaresma, is back in contention, along with Arsenal’s summer target Felipe Melo. Klaas-Jan Huntelaar, who Spurs are currently eying up, continues to have the worst year of his life and there’s a customary appearance from the world’s biggest disappointment, Ronaldinho.

See the full shortlist after the jump…

At 34, is it not time to be packing this shit in?

Also appearing on a computer near you…

The Spoiler has no idea what is going on here, but Francesco Totti’s mullet is nice

How have Capello’s England done against the world’s best so far?
[Guardian]

Fans of being laughed at should get John O’Shea’s new signature boots
[Off the Post]

Eduardo is tired of collecting splinters on the bench
[Caught Offside]

Remember Freddy Adu? Of course you do. Next, we want to know where Cherno Samba, Tonton Zola Moukoko, Andri Sigporsson and all the other Championship Manager faux-legends ended up
[BBC Sport]

Kaka wants Beckham at WC2010. So he can run rings around him in a quarter-final
[The Sun]

Ben Foster refuses to accept his own rank mediocrity
[Telegraph]

AC Milan defender uses the sexy to get Brazilian’s attention…

Spotted at [ONTD Football]

Spoiler bonus: Check out our extensive Sporno gallery here

Albanian oil baron alleged to have ordered journo beating…

Last month, rumours were swirling of a bid to wrest AC Milan from the wandering hands of everyone’s favourite political liability, Italian PM Silvio Berlusconi. Albanian oligarch Rezart Taci was ready to lump €700m on the Rossoneri, claiming he’d been given first refusal by Berlusconi after putting the kibosh on a mysteriously failed takeover of Serie A side Bologna.

Fans may think Milan have it bad enough with Berlusconi - whose ‘Controversies’ section in Wikipedia is the longer than most people’s entire profiles - at the helm, but according to Spanish sports paper AS (one of the less mental ones), Taci could give him a run in the ’shady’ stakes.

Who really wants to watch Chelsea win 1-0?

Another eight matches for your consumption this evening, although at least CSKA Moscow and Manchester United (5:30pm SS2) have the decency to kick off a little earlier for us armchair fans.

At 7:45, the two most successful clubs in European Cup history meet for the first time in almost seven years. Many expect Madrid to absolutely tank Milan, whilst in the other Group B fixture, Marseille will be collecting some Toblerone, and probably three points in Zurich.

Elsewhere, Besiktas go to Wolfsburg, whilst victory for Bordeaux at home to Bayern, could mean big trouble for Juventus, who themselves are at home to whipping boys Maccabi Haifa tonight.

For those without Sky Sports, Chelsea - Atletico is on ITV1 at 7:30, whilst the other Group D game tonight, Porto vs APOEL, should go largely unwatched.

As ever, predictions below…

UPDATE: Thespoiler has just been reminded that this year’s Champions League final is on a Saturday. Thank goodness Simon Cowell is usually on his holidays by then, or we may be looking forward to the first ever ITV2 Champions League final.