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Paul Whitehouse gives an intriguing insight into the modern multicultural half-time team talk
[Off the Post]

Mmm now that’s a sexy road accident!
[Grid Crasher]

Curbishley: “I never even met Hayden Mullins”
[The Gaffer]

Which lucky rugby player has been stepping out with Kelly Brook?
[Polite Applause]

Time stands still as Posh gets a new haircut!
[Kickette]

It was only a matter of time until a football club opened its own cemetery
[Bild]

Joe Cole glad he ignored Al Gore when choosing motor

Big Phil Scolari officially started work at Chelsea’s Cobham training ground yesterday, and he almost did so a man down. On the way to training, Joe Cole’s Range Rover became rather too well acquainted with a 40-ton lorry:

“[Cole] dashed to the aid of another driver trapped in his Vauxhall Signum.

“The Chelsea winger’s £50,000 4×4 took the full impact of the Scania lorry - and careered into the Vauxhall.

“Driver John Jury was knocked unconscious - and came to with Cole banging on his window.”

The dent in the plush Chelsea tractor doesn’t look particularly life threatening, but the other driver claims Cole would not have survived if he had been driving a sports car, or one of those hybrid efforts that obnoxious people drive to let people know they are better than everyone else. Absolutely no one who lives in or around London needs a 4×4, yet it seems the winger and his bride-to-be Carly Zucker have done the right thing in completely disregarding their carbon footprint.

Spoiler bonus: it looks like someone has been playing tricks with Joe Cole’s Wikipedia entry…

[click image to enlarge]

The crash barriers, they do nothing!

Cruising along at 40mph, Luxembourg’s Frank Schleck was on his way to winning the fifth stage of the Tour of Switzerland when he decided to take a little detour over a ravine.

Amazingly, he survived, got back on the bike and finished just three minutes behind eventual winner Markus Fothen. You know what else is amazing? A monkey riding a dog…

Best video ever? Yes, best video ever.

Ribery-less France struggle to take corners

In many parts of France, drivers think nothing of ‘nudging’ parked cars in order to fit their own vehicle into a tight spot. Last night, the French team coach driver employed the bumper car mentality when attempting to enter the Letzigrund Stadium in Zurich.

It’s highly reassuring to know that the French will place millions of pounds worth of footballing talent in the hands of someone who can’t turn round a corner.