Chelsea boss made big screen debut as evil commie footballer

[Skip to 4.20 to see some De Niro-esque acting from Ancelotti]

When The Spoiler thinks of slightly duff films based around football matches, Escape to Victory and Mean Machines immediately spring to mind. Now, however, the 1983 Italian film Don Camillo has officially entered the canon-o’-crap, and it has been brought to our attention thanks to a starring appearance by Chelsea gaffer Carlo Ancelotti.

In this morning’s Sun, the Champions League winning manager sheds some light on his big screen debut:

“In Don Camillo, I play for a communist football team owned by the village mayor Peppone, the great rival of Don Camillo. It was just a football match between angels and demons. I was really happy to be in this film as Don Camillo was born in Brescello, just 10 kilometres from where I was born.”

As you can see in the clip above (which was sought out by our handsome friends at Off The Post), Ancelotti plays for a team of nasty commie Devils in the film, and makes a substitute appearance in the game along with fellow former pros Luciano Spinosi and Roberto Pruzzo.

The whole thing looks camper than a row of tents filled with men dressed like Cristiano Ronaldo, but Ancelotti’s onscreen talents certainly seem to eclipse those of Vinnie Jones.

Melanie Slade will appear in the next* Harry Potter flick

Melanie Slade burst on to the WAG scene in 2006, when she and the rest of the country’s finest supporting ladies did their best to distract England from winning anything. Since she started romancing weak-shouldered Arsenal favourite Theo Walcott, Miss Slade has been passing the hours with a physiotherapy degree, but according to The Mirror, the Southampton-based beauty has also found herself some gainful employment:

WAG Mel Slade - the girlfriend of England and Arsenal star Theo Walcott - has landed a role in the next Harry Potter film. Mel, 20, appears with Daniel Radcliffe and Emma Watson in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part One.

In the movie, set for release in November 2010, Mel plays a pal of Hermione (Watson) as they watch a game of Quidditch - and she even gets to say some lines.

Mel may thank her fine acting talents for landing this role, but a healthy dollop of nepotism also had its part to play. The film’s director David Yates just happens to be the partner of Theo’s aunt Yvonne.

Spoiler bonus: More of Mel here

*The next HP film is out in July, Melanie will be in the one after that.

Another excellent reason to avoid the West End

Those of you who were wondering how the shameless cash cow We Will Rock You didn’t kill off the modern West End musical will be delighted to hear that David Beckham - The Theatre of Dreams is in the works:

“Beckham’s story is a modern-day fairytale of heroes, villains, love, Manchester United and what it means to lead your country,” explained Mark Archer, the songwriter behind this celebration of Beckham’s first 33 years. “His rise from obscurity to international stardom, his universally acknowledged gifts as a supreme sportsman, and his Hollywood lifestyle all have the elements of an aspirational fable.”

With football and celebrity

An Ethiopian princess fit for an Italian Playboy

Few people in football have enjoyed extra-curricular activities as much as retired Italian defender Francesco Coco. The self-confessed ‘drugged-up gay who lives in nightclubs’ has dated supermodel Gisele Bündchen (the current WAG of Patriots quarterback Tom Brady), and also a string of Italian lovelies such as Francesca Lodo and Manuela Arcuri. These days, however, he solely devotes his attention to 32-year-old model Saba Wesser.