Brazilian to complete move to Spain within a week…

Florentino Perez will be formally installed as Real Madrid president on Monday, and will start shaking things up almost immediately. According to Spanish paper AS, Madrid will replace Juande Ramos with Villarreal manager Manuel Pellegrini on Tuesday. Apparently, their interest in Arsene Wenger has waned as the brainy Frenchman has failed to make contact with them.

On the new player front, Spanish football radio show El Larguero (”The Crossbar”) have claimed that Kaka will be unveiled at the Bernebeu next Thursday, with Los Blancos paying AC Milan €65m for the privilege. The theory is supported by Milan vice president Adriano Galliani, who admitted Kaka will imminently depart

Jay-Z might need to have words with Arsenal striker

On the day of one of the biggest games of his career, Emmanuel Adebayor has decided to rally the Arsenal troops by dropping even more hints of a transfer to Milan.

Last week, the Togolese striker boasted that being tracked by AC Milan is akin to garnering interest from Beyonce Knowles:

“For me that must be something special. It is like a boy being told Beyonce is looking for them.”

Speaking with Turin based paper Tuttosport today, Manu once again crow-barred the name of his favourite booty-licious star into the conversation:

“Galliani may not be as sexy as Beyonce, but Milan are. They have won the Champions League seven times, while Arsenal have never won it. Last year I was very close to signing for the Rossoneri, but I

Brazilian takes a swipe at his employer

Kaka has never said he wishes to leave AC Milan, and admitted that he only entertained the prospect of a ludicrous transfer to Manchester City as he “respected” the wishes of his club.

Despite his desire to stay in the fashion capital, the Brazilian’s growing discontent with the powers that be at the Rossoneri is becoming clear.

Following Brazil’s 3-0 World Cup Qualifier victory over Peru, the one who belongs to Jesus took a pot shot at his club for failing to adequately deal with his recent injury:

“In six days with the Brazilian team doctors I have improved more than in five weeks with those of Milan.”

The comment will certainly anger the Milanese side, who pride themselves on their phenomenal training resources and fastidious injury treatments.

Sport claim Kaka is still unhappy that Milan tried

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Cesc admits receiving an interesting offer from an Italian club

Arsenal midfielder Cesc Fabregas has revealed that a Serie A side attempted to sign him over the summer and admitted that his head was turned by the amount of money that was on offer. He told Sport.es:

 ”Yes, it’s true. I did have offers from an Italian side which were interesting from an economical point of view. However, nothing really happened after that.”

It has been speculated that AC Milan were the side who made the bid but The Spoiler isn’t convinced

“Welcome to Italy, Mr… Clown?”

Remember that time you returned home from university with a surprising amount of dreadlocks for a white person and a knitted t-shirt you’d be given by an androgynous girl called Sunrise? Yeah, no one wanted to say anything, but you looked a bit stupid, dude. Your mum was pretty embarrassed. Kind of in the same way that AC Milan president Adriano Galliani was embarrassed and hoping that no one would spot him out and about with his adopted twenty-something son, Ronaldinho, who’s just today turned up in Italy wearing fancy dress.

Of course, Italians are well known for their impeccable sense of style - even the children choose to wear suits that accentuate their unbelievable arrogance. Yet, the Brazilian ace thought it wise to turn up sporting the world’s most garish t-shirt, an entire jewellery shop’s front window, and the timeless backwards cap.

Just thank the sweet baby Moses that Kaka is there to offer style tips!

“That’s it, walk behind me, son”