Man who nearly played for Rangers was an angry child

Paul Daniels lays the card-based smackdown

It’s the lady who feels entitled to half of Thierry’s career earnings

Back in 2001, Thierry Henry was filming one of his mildly annoying Renault Clio adverts (”Ey Bobby, what’s ze French for ‘Va Va Voom?’”), when he noticed a model prancing around the set in little more than a man’s shirt and some ladypants. That lovely young thing was 27-year-old Claire Merry, who became Henry’s girlfriend with immediate effect, and two years later became his wife.

As you will undoubtedly know, however, the couple announced their divorce last year, and the latest news is that Claire will be ‘taking him to the cleaners‘ to the sum of £10m for his alleged infidelities with a make-up artist named Sadie Hewlett. Quite how she feels she is entitled to such a huge amount is anyone’s guess, but the Croydon-born beauty is pursuing his funds with the tenacity that Andriy Voronin seeks out awful clothing.

…And loads of other bizarre pointless stuff in new Pepsi advert

Usually, Pepsi adverts are great spectacles - previously, we’ve enjoyed Beckham in a Wild West shootout, and Roberto Carlos and co losing a game to a bunch of overweight Germans. The latest clip from the cola pushers, however, seems like a big ol’ mishmash of crap designed to get as many high profile names into a minute slot: Thierry Henry runs through the jungle in a dinner suit, Beckham as Indiana Jones mysteriously transforms into Cesc Fabregas, and Princess Frank gets all dolled up in a fetching little kimono. It really accentuates his hips, and black is a very flattering colour for the precious midfielder,