Die Mannschaft channel Sin City and a bit of Watchmen…

A little less standing around and this could’ve bested classic Nike adverts such as “No! It’s rounder,” and “Au Revoir”. Or at least that’s what The Spoiler called them in primary school.

UPDATE: Having actually watched both Nike adverts again, The Spoiler can confirm they will never be bested, ever.

Real Madrid star should probably stick to the day job

Clearly in need of a little bit of extra cash, Cristiano Ronaldo has agreed to sing in an advert for Banco Espírito Santo, a Portuguese bank.

Is it just us, or is it reassuring to know that there are some things C-Ron isn’t good at?

Yes, it’s a Nike advert, but it’s a good Nike advert

Corinthians striker hawks shaving gear, improves bank balance

After donning a figure-hugging Godzilla outfit in order to promote a South American soft drink, (Fat) Ronaldo is now a spokesperson for a Brazilian razor manufacturer. The Bozzano model boasts five blades, which is the bare minimum required to get around a face as gigantic as his.

[101GG]

Albicelestes start to turn against their Messiah

A hacker operating under the name ‘KKR’ gave the Argentinean football authorities another headache last Friday, as he exposed security lapses in the official AFA website.

Visitors to the site who may have been seeking information information on the hapless South American side were instead treated to a picture of Diego Maradona in a Brazil shirt, with the caption “A picture is worth a thousand words.”

It’s not a Photoshopped image you see, but a still from an advert for a South American soft drink, in which the former recreational drug fan made the extremely regrettable decision to wear the colours of his fierce national rivals. Check out the advert at the bottom of this post.

Even though the security breach occurred last Friday (for the third time, incidentally), the AFA website is still down.

Advert for swooshy sports manufacturer shows Russian’s tenacity

The latest addition to the advertising campaign that previously showed Wayne Rooney’s utter dismay at shaving off what remains of his hair features Arsenal’s Andrei Arshavin.

The Russian meerkat-alike boldly pushes away a physio, summoning the strength and spirit to play through the pain barrier. A poignant and well-timed message from a man who will miss Arsenal’s next three games with a groin strain.

 Zizou turns his immeasurable talent to the world of billiards

While we are certain that Zinedine Zidane excels at any sport he attempts, the pool skills shown above may not actually represent the Frenchman’s talent on the table.

After a little bit of research, we discovered that the video is part of a new campaign for Grand Opticals, the company who provide Zizou’s natty headbutt-proof glasses.

You know your career is is on the right track when you have to impersonate a reptile for money

In order to sell a drink named Guaraná Antarctica (a Brazilian soft drink so popular that we had never heard of it), Fat Ronaldo has squeezed his way into a figure-hugging Godzilla suit. In the behind-the-scenes video above, we see the striker doing CGI-aided keep-ups with cans of the fizzy pop, presumably because doing real keep-ups would be too much of a stretch for the Corinthians man.Check out the resulting video after the jump, and a bonus Guaraná Antarctica advert featuring Fat Ronaldo, Kaka and Diego Maradona…