The latest transfer gossip, rumours and damned lies

Heurelho Gomes to Chelsea
“Chelsea Cech out Spurs keeper Gomes as blunder boy Petr heads for Stamford Bridge exit,” claims a headline on the Daily Mail website.

The Spoiler Truth-o-meter: A very unlikely transfer with a fickle headline. The English press have lauded Petr Cech as the best goalkeeper in the world for years but one high-profile mistake has turned him into a “blunder boy”. Meanwhile Heurelho Gomes, who the media not long ago treated as a laughing stock is now considered good enough for Chelsea.

Carlos Tevez to someone wealthy
Tevez’s two-year loan ends this summer and despite previously expressing a desire to stay at Old Trafford, the Argentine is reportedly annoyed at never starting important games. Chelsea, Manchester City, Inter Milan, Juventus and

The two bosses have now shown a similar taste in enemies

Those who have noted similarities between Alan Pardew and Phil Brown were provided with even more ammunition last night when the Hull boss followed in Pardew’s footsteps by falling out with Arsene Wenger.

Obvious comparisons between the two include that both enjoyed an initial period of fantastic overachievement after winning promotion to the Premier League and went on strong FA Cup runs. Both managers made their clubs’ record signing in their first January in the top-flight (Dean Ashton and Jimmy Bullard) and both men suffered long-term injuries at a crucial time.

Negatively, both managers have received criticism for some of their methods: Pardew for his sloganed T-shirts and training complex revamps and Brown for

Ex-Charlton manager unlikely to be asked back on MOTD2

Operating under the proviso “if Alan Shearer can do it, anyone can do it,” a jobless man named Alan Pardew was invited to display his punditry skills on Match of the Day 2 last night. If you watched it, and you thought you heard Pardew say Michael Essien “absolutely raped” Ched Evans, your ears did not deceive you.

Afterwards, no attempt was of an apology was made, so presumably such comments are deemed acceptable at the new transparent BBC.

When gaffers lose their cool in spectacular style

For the twelve-thousand time in his career, Joe Kinnear was sent to the stands after reciting his naughty word vocabulary at Phil Brown. The Newcastle manager, however, didn’t get as angry (or punchy or kicky) as some of the gaffers below…

5. A coach in this Egyptian league game between Al -Ahly and Harashuduod gets so animated he starts taking his jacket off and undoing his shirt as he prepares for a fight.

When the board support a manager, time is short…

Observe the following pattern:

Former West Ham chairman Eggert Magnusson on November 21, 2006:

“I will also be continuing talks with Alan Pardew on how he sees the future on the playing side. This is very much his domain and he has my full confidence and support.”

December 11, 2006: Pardew is sacked

Wigan chairman Dave Whelan on May 14, 2007:

“I’d like to take this opportunity to welcome [Chris Hutchings] as manager and give him my assurance that he will have my full and total backing as we seek to stay in the Premiership for a fourth season and keep establishing this club in the best league in the world.”

November 5, 2007: Hutchings is sacked

Newcastle chairman Chris Mort on November 26, 2007:

“Sam [Allardyce] is a very experienced manager, and I am sure he will work hard with his coaching team to turn the team around. He is working hard to get his best team, and how they can work together in the best way.”

January 9, 2008: Allardyce is sacked

Charlton manager knows how to keep fans off his back

After stumbling across comments made by Alan Pardew following Charlton’s 2-0 home defeat to Bristol City, The Spoiler was struck with a sense of déjà vu. So we looked at comments the former West Ham boss has made after his side’s last five defeats and started to see a pattern emerging. See if you can spot it:

Pardew after losing to Wolves: “Some players were just a wee bit below [par] but I have to take into account that Wolves are really flying at the minute. So there’s a lot of thinking to do between now and Doncaster.”

Pardew after losing to Sheffield Wednesday: “We had a few low performances today and I’ll have to look at the selection of the side because there are one or two who are desperate to have a go now and I might have to look at a change.”

Pardew after losing to Crystal Palace:

Say hello to your worst nightmare

Ever since the phrase “I wouldn’t like to meet him in a dark alley” was coined by an elderly Welsh woman scraping sludge off a rock, The Spoiler has been curious to know who might possibly be the worst person to meet in that situation. So how fitting that these pictures of Alan Pardew casually strolling through a river of post-pub urine and past some bins showed up in our PO Box this morning. That’s that mystery solved.

We like to presume that Arsene Wenger is lurking in the nearby shadows, readying himself to unleash some over-the-top karate moves on his former nemesis.

It’s better in the Czech Republic, claims Roman Bednar

The FA and Premier League’s Respect campaign took another blow today when Czech forward Roman Bednar admitted that the standard of officiating in the top-flight was poorer than in his homeland.

The Baggies striker voiced his concerns after being left disappointed by referee Mike Dean’s performance in Sunday’s Midlands derby defeat to Aston Villa at The Hawthorns. He said: