The preferred lady of England’s other Wayne

You may remember French model and actress Vanessa Perroncel from World Cup 2006, where she formed part of a band of England WAGs who managed to collectively blow £1million on frivolous crap during a brief spell in Baden Baden. Most of that money probably went towards maintaining Alex Curran’s dazzling orange hue, but as the main squeeze of occasional Chelsea left-back Wayne Bridge, Vanessa could certainly afford to treat herself.

Part one of The Spoiler’s in-depth WAG holiday analysis

Without the need to attend a European Championships, it’s only natural that the nation’s premier supporting ladies have escaped the thoroughly unpredictable English weather for sunnier climes.

Pictured above is Steven Gerrard using a common Liverpudlian communication technique to attract the attention of his lovely wife Alex Curran while relaxing in Miami. See more pictures of Mrs Gerrard here.

Over in Italy, former Miss Ireland Claudine Palmer is enjoying her honeymoon with brand new hubby Robbie Keane. He’s in the photo waving at the camera, but the wee lad only comes up to her shin. See more of Claudine here.

More WAG holiday madness after the jump…

Loathe him or hate him, there’s no ignoring that Ashley Cole is having a tremendous week. Last night his team finally made it past Liverpool in the Champions League semi finals, and earlier in the week, the discerning young lesbians who enjoy Gay-Parship.co.uk voted his lovely singing wife the sexiest WAG they’d most like to be lesbian with.

Steven Gerrard’s bottle blonde wife bulldozed into second place ahead of Victoria Beckham, who hasn’t had the same impact on the gay community as husband David. He came second in the men’s vote.

[Kickette]

Will the real Mrs Steven Gerrard please stand up

If Alex Curran mugged me and I had to pick her out of this lineup at the police station, I think I’d just shut my eyes, point and hope for the best.

[Picture: Kickette]

Alex has done her bit to support the British horse racing industry, and now its your turn - have a Grand National punt with the help of chickendinner here. Also, get a free £25 bet with Betfair here.

Which version of Mrs Gerrard do you prefer?

Much like an archaeologist can tell us how the dinosaurs once looked, our friends at Kickette have given us all a stunning insight into pre-Stevie G Alex Curran. Notice the distinct lack of fake boobs, orange skin, hooker makeup and designer clobber? It’s fascinating to see what a few years of Waggery can do to a person.

It’s all betrayal and fake tans in the world of Waggery

When beset by heartache, it is often best to confide in someone. In reaction to her separation with three-timing serial WAG boffer Jermain Defoe, Danielle Lloyd has done exactly that, by sharing her pain with the readers of The Daily Star:

‘It was my decision to finish it and I am happy to be single again. After the story broke, I just couldn’t trust him. I empathise with Cheryl. It is horrible when you are in love with someone and you find out they have betrayed you.’

By rutting other ladies without a care in the world, Defoe hardly gave you much choice in finishing the relationship, Dani. And yes it is horrible to be betrayed by your lover - just ask Charlotte Meares, the WAG he betrayed to go out with you!

How to become a WAG: Lesson Two - Knickers

Forget what you’ve seen in the movies, not all women wear good pants. In fact, slap yourself in the face and come back to Earth - hardly any of them do. There is one special set which looks fantastic, but that’s kept in a platinum safe, and she’ll be damned if they’re worthy of you. Unless, of course, she’s a sexy young WAG. These girls really know their knickers.

The first lady of Liverpool is playing her part in the Capello regime

Some people are taking Fabio Capello’s ban on WAGs much more seriously than others. Wayne Rooney’s missus is currently keeping her distance in the Caribbean sun, while Alex Curran had to choose between watching her husband’s first international captaincy, and laying on a beach in Dubai. Stevie G was glancing up at an empty seat at Wembley last night, because the feisty former nail technician chose the latter.

Did nobody tell them it’s the middle of January?

OK! Magazine held it’s strangely belated New Years party at the Embassy Club in London last night, and several of our favourite WAGs stepped out to celebrate their nonebrity and lack of contribution to society:

Here’s Alex Curran, stepping out in a delightful skirt that she obtained from a lampshade in my parent’s house in 1986.

And here’s Jermain Defoe’s ex, sly-as-a-fox Charlotte Mears. The blonde model is obviously trying to fool use with her cunning disguise, yet we’d recognise that newly-acquired depression-halting chest of hers.

From the social networking site that brought you anti-Danielle Lloydism

The model friend who invited me to join the ever-popular and well-publicised ‘Charlotte over Danielle any day’ group on Facebook has just started a new group on the social networking site.

The new group is named ‘The Anti WAGABE Society’, and it’s purpose is described below, via the medium of bad spelling and grammar: