Also appearing on a computer near you…

The Offside has discovered a top ten goals compilation narrated by the most irritating man on earth

Can Birmingham, Reading and Derby bounce back?
[BBC]

Car porn: First look at £1m Aston Martin One-77 bespoke supercar
[Grid Crasher]

Ten reasons why Portsmouth will win the Community Shield
[chickendinner]

Alex Gerrard has been named Queen of the WAGs
[Kickette]

Which trophy is most important to Arsenal supporters as the season begins?
[Caught Offside]

Man, that lady be deep and shhh…

Contrary to what your wife/girlfriend told you, WAGs are not totally without purpose. They teach people how best to work out, some of them even do this by using words to explain things. It’s inspiring. But not nearly as inspiring as Steven Gerrard’s wife.

For years, great philosophers have been bumbling out intriguing conundrums - what is the sound of one hand clapping? If a tree fall in the woods and no one’s around, what happens to the bear? etc… - but now the masterful Mrs Gerrard has added to that list without even opening her mouth.

What is warm enough for a vest top, and yet cold enough for a scarf?

Deep.

Take that Nietzsche!

[Kickette]