The latest transfer gossip, rumours and damned lies

Karim Benzema to Real Madrid
This whole Benzema thing is getting messy. His Lyon team-mate Miralem Pjanic claims he will join Manchester Utd, and Arsene Wenger is said to have expressed an interest, but according to this morning’s Marca, the young Frenchman will be anounced as a Real Madrid player in a matter of hours.

The Spoiler truth-o-meter: Madrid’s chief director Jorge Valdano has just ramped up the speculation by saying:

“We do not discard the possibility that in the next few hours, something could happen.”

If Lyon accept Los Blancos’ €35m-ish bid, this one is on.

Alexandre Pato to Chelsea
The Milan party line is that The Duck ain’t going nowhere, but according to La Gazzetta dello Sport, one of Roman Abramovich’s henchmen was spotted at Milan HQ yesterday. An improved bid of €60m could be on the cards.

The Spoiler truth-o-meter: It’s quite possible that the

The latest transfer gossip, rumours and damned lies

Michael Owen to Everton
Back in April, The Daily Express claimed the Toffees were after the charismatic Newcastle striker, and the rumour has resurfaced today in The Mirror. Apparently, Owen has entered negotiations and has been offered £50k-a-week to sign up on a free transfer. £50k? He wouldn’t get off the injury table for any less than £100k at St James’ Park!

The Spoiler truth-o-meter: Seems like a good option, if only for the fact that he can be nearer his horsies and will save a fortune of helicopter fuel.

Alexandre Pato and Glen Johnson to Chelsea
As if taking their manager wasn’t bad enough, The Sun believe Chelsea have offered Milan £30m to steal away 19-year-old Brazilian wunderkind and webcam fan Pato. Apparently, the smokey Italian is also interested in reintroducing

AC Milan youngster pulls an Ashley Young

It’s been a very sexy day of stories so far, and we’re about to crank things up a notch.

Alexandre Pato has been hailed by AC Milan teammate David Beckham as one of the brightest hopes for the future of football, but his skill on the pitch may soon be overshadowed by his tendency to get his junk out in front of a webcam.

A video on Brazil’s most popular humour blog (warning: incredibly NSFW link) suggests that the nineteen-year-old was targeted by a fake internet groupie named ‘The Blond of The Internet’. Undeterred by this ridiculously suspicious moniker, the excitable Brazilian was allegedly lured into removing his clothes during a webcam chat with said fake groupie.

It’s not 100 per cent certain that the star of this video is Pato, but we know he is partial to trawling the web for ladies: he met his WAG Stephany Brito online.

You can check out this very very NSFW link to the video if you enjoy making instantly regrettable decisions, but don’t blame us if you end up burning your laptop in a bucket afterwards.

[Spotted on The Offside]

Feast your eyes on some football players in China

Perhaps one day someone will start a sentence with “there’s an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman” without it being a joke about people in boxes saying “potatoes” - it could even be used to introduce a Great British football line up. How wonderful would that be? Although, of course, the Irishman would have to come from the less green-grassy part of the emerald isle, and more the cobbled street bit where horses run wild (that’s the north, right?). Until that day, though, we’re going to have to content ourselves by gazing jealously at the other countries who get to call their footballers Olympians. Here’s eleven to keep a hungry eye on this year…

GK Brad Guzan, USA
Aston Villa’s (other) new American goalkeeper called Brad, the USA’s decision to make him one of their three over-23 players - he turns 24 during the tournament - shows just how great he is. That, of course, will count for nothing when he gets to Villa and warms the bench for the next decade, as Friedel becomes steadily more decrepit but still brilliant.

DL Marcelo, Brazil
Real Madrid signed the left wing-back in 2007 and he became a regular starter last season, pushing Gabriel Heinze into the centre. Unsurprisingly, he gets compared to Roberto Carlos - everyone does - and found the net on his international debut against Wales.

DC Vincent Kompany, Belgium
For those who spend their weekends playing Football Manager instead of talking to girls, you already know this guy, he’s one of the best buys in the game, damn it! And as it turns out, the 22-year-old isn’t too shabby in real life either. Right now he’s at Martin Jol’s Hamburg, and The Spoiler’s computerised West Ham.

DC Ezequiel Garay, Argentina
With all the Ronaldo talk this summer, Garay’s arrival at the