That was easier than Danielle Lloyd at a Spurs Christmas party
England 6/ Andorra 0 The Spoiler takes intends to take nothing away from a good England performance, but we’ve never seen a side as poor as Andorra on the international stage.
The part-timers had absolutely no intention of attacking, and gave the Three Lions all the space in the world to do their business. At some points, David Beckham - who has been playing for England for longer than Andorra have actually had a national football team - had no one around him for twenty yards. He could have tied his shoe laces or nipped off for a quick haircut and no one would have challenged for the ball.
We don’t wish to be cruel, but having a team like Andorra in World Cup Qualifying seems is a waste of everyone’s time. They should be made to participate in a pre-qualifying tournament before they get the chance to be smashed up by the rest of Europe.
If there is one criticism of England under Fabio Capello, it’s that they take too long to break down minnows. It took them 49 minutes to score against Andorra in Barcelona, 52 to find a way past Kazakhstan at Wembley and then 40 away to them last weekend. Andorra boss David Rodrigo plans to frustrate the Three Lions tonight, although Betfair odds of 219/1 (actually down from 239/1 earlier today) show that he’s not expected to have much success. Here are some stats from our friends at chickendinner about tonight’s game:
» England have won their three previous meetings with Andorra without conceding a goal, scoring ten in the process.
» Andorra coach Rodrigo’s claimed that “England have always had problems when they have played against us and have been made to work hard to get the first goal.” However, they were beaten 5-0 on their last trip to Wembley in 2006 with the opening goal coming in the fifth minute from Peter Crouch.
» The minnows have lost their last 20 competitive games and their overall record in qualifying games is P58 W1 D2 L55. They’ve taken just a point from
England/Andorra, World Cup Qualifier, 8.15pm, ITV1
The Three Lions are ever-so-slight 1/200 favourites to make it seven wins out of seven in the World Cup qualifiers against an Andorra side who have never won away from home. This is how The Spoiler would line up.
We disagree with the idea of playing Gary Neville ahead of Glen Johnson, who is a yellow card away from suspension. Fabio Capello wants everyone available to face Croatia at home but we feel having players ruled out for the game after that away to Ukraine could prove just as dangerous.
The biggest talking point is who will partner Frank Lampard in midfield with Gareth Barry suspended and Michael Carrick, Owen Hargreaves and Scott
From 7pm tonight, adequately paid London Underground staff are planning to strike for 48 hours, leaving most people in the capital severely fudged if they want to get around. Among the worst effected by the industrial action, however, would be the England fans intending to travel to Wembley for the World Cup Qualifier against Andorra tomorrow night.
The FA suspended ticket sales at 70,000 last week when they realised the game clashed the the tube workers’ walkout, and it is understood they will hold a crisis meeting with the Metropolitan Police, Transport for London and Brent Council later today, to see if contingency plans can be put in place. Otherwise, the game may have to be played behind closed doors, meaning John Terry’s potty mouth will echo all around the empty stadium.
It is understood that the threat of playing the match behind closed doors is the most extreme option currently on the table amid hopes that the RMT can still be persuaded to call off the strike. An announcement is expected later this afternoon.
Rubbish side to employ frustration tactics at Wembley
With an impressive six defeats from six games in World Cup Qualifying Group 6, one may expect Andorra to approach tomorrow night’s game against England with a quiet dignity.
Instead, the tiny nation with absolutely nothing to play for are going to try and frustrate the Three Lions, in the hope of turning the Wembley crowd against the home side. Coach David Rodrigo is quoted in The Ooh Ahh Daily Star:
“England have always had problems when they have played against us and have been made to work hard to get the first goal. That can sometimes make the players feel nervous.
“There is a big difference between the two teams but we have not got anything to lose and to play at Wembley is such a big motivation.
“England are the most dangerous team in the group and I am not going to change the system we employ because we are playing in London.”
The system to which he is referring is a park-the-bus 5-4-1 formation, designed to shut out England’s forwards. The Andorran’s may be a bunch of part-time no namers, but the tactic worked at Wembley in 2007 (when fans turned on Steve McClaren after waiting 54 minutes for a goal) and in last year’s qualifier (where travelling fans didn’t see a goal until substitute Joe Cole bagged the first of a brace in the 48th minute).
It may not keep England from scoring, but such a negative approach isn’t exactly setting the tie up to be a classic.
During Saturday’s encounter with Andorra, England fans managed to temporarily divert their attention from the incredibly exciting football action to let out a tremendous chorus of “We Hate Setanta! We Hate Setanta!”
The lack of terrestrial coverage of England games is hugely frustrating for those looking for a fix of mild disappointment and boredom, meaning the Irish broadcaster - who are perfectly within their rights to exclusively show England’s away games - have come under heavy fire.
So what do you think? Is it our divine right to see a highlights package at the very least? Are Setanta acting unfairly or should we blame the BBC for blowing their budget on securing the Formula One instead?
The one per cent of the UK’s population who managed to tune in the Satsuma Sports channel at the weekend needn’t watch the clip above, but the rest of us may not have been gifted the opportunity to see yet another lukewarm England performance until now.
It was a trademark lacklustre performance from the Three Lions, and while most fans ask why players tend not to play as well as they do in an England shirt as they do for their club, Chelsea fans were left asking the exact reverse of Joe Cole following his embarrassment-saving brace.
Newcastle and Manchester City have tried to monopolise the news this week - but they forgot about Ian Wright’s love for his country.
Back in April, Ian Wright decided his style of punditry was no longer suitable for Match of the Day. Their “jacket, shirt and tie” format just didn’t sit well with his own preferred newsboy cap approach to opinion-sharing, and neither did he relish ever again playing the “court jester” to whoever was yawning on the sofa. So he quit.
MOTD has continued to sink into its mire of blandness quite happily without Wright, but what of his valuable insight? Fortunately it can still be enjoyed on the pages of The Sun, where this week Wright lent his peerless analytical talents to tomorrow’s England game, which given all that has happened this week, feels as relevant and anticipated as the League One programme. Below is a summary of his thesis, which in contrast to the Premier League hysteria, reads like poetry from a more innocent age.
I am shocked that Michael Owen is not in the England squad.
He’s scored lots of goals and defenders fear speed and experience.
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