van Persie, Fabregas and Arshavin > Henry, Pires and Bergkamp?

After Arsenal’s 4-1 Champions League cakewalk against the Eredivisie champions last night, Arsene Wenger was moved to compare his young team to the unbeaten Gunners squad of 03/04:

We’ve never had as many options on the creative side. We still have Nicklas Bendtner and Theo Walcott who are offensive players who are not available.

Denilson, Eduardo, Tomas Rosicky did not start - that is why I was amazed when people said, ‘Buy, buy, buy’. And Carlos Vela as well… I forgot him!

Fair assessment, or another one of Le Prof’s attempts to tack an extra psychological boost onto an impressive performance? Ljungberg, Henry, Pires and Bergkamp had racked up 16 goals and 10 assists in all competitions by this time in 03/04 season; while van Persie, Arshavin, Bendtner and Fabregas are already on 24 goals and 23 assists.

In terms of depth, Wenger has a point - as backups go, Eduardo, Rosicky and Nasri are a more desirable trio of reinforcements than Reyes, Wiltord and Kanu were. But does the overall attacking quality of the squad match up?

Things get even harder for Rafa, Arsenal stroll to victory…

Arsenal 4/ AZ Alkmaar 1

Cesc Fabregas (angrily) opened the scoring 25 minutes into Arsenal’s televised training match against the Dutch champions; Samir Nasri doubling the Gunners’ lead with an exquisite shoulder drop. Second half strikes from Fabregas and Abou Diaby wrapped up the win, although Alkmaar bagged a late consolation in the form of a Jeremain Lens toe punt.

At the final whistle, there was only one question on the lips of a half empty Emirates… what the f**k has happened to the Dutch league?

Lyon 1/ Liverpool 1

Last minute comebacks are meant to be reserved for Liverpool, although it seems Lisandro Lopez didn’t get the memo. The Argentinean striker took advantage of some suicidal injury time defending to cancel out Ryan Babel’s impressive 83rd minute strike, signaling most Reds fans to start checking which TV channels are still showing Europa League football.

In a game of stark contrasts, Andriy Voronin plumbed new depths of unacceptable wankery, while Lyon keeper Hugo Lloris did a lot more to justify his billing as Football Manager-endorsed Keeper of the Future than Igor Akinfeev had on Tuesday.

A night of mixed fortunes for the English in Europe

Fiorentina 2/ Liverpool 0
“I have never seen us struggle so badly as in the first half - it was a poor performance.” A damning indictment of Liverpool’s performance in Tuscany last night from Rafa, as Stevan Jovetic - dubbed “The Montenegrin Messi” - bagged a brace. Liverpool now have some catching up to do in Group E.

Arsenal 2/ Olympiakos 0
Despite total dominance over the Greeks, the Gunners left it late to claim three points: RVP struck on 78 minutes, while Andrei Arshavin sealed it with a suspiciously offside effort on 86. Olympiakos boss Zico didn’t accuse the officials of being biased, but did note that three of them were French.

The boyhood teams of some the game’s biggest names

Generally speaking, Premier League footballers are well advised to be discreet about the team they truly support. Nowhere is this more evident than in the case of David Bentley, a supposed lifelong Arsenal fan who suddenly professed to be a boyhood Spurs fan upon switching to the north London side. With this imprudent declaration in mind, Spoiler correspondent Ben Baker has rounded up ten footballers whose loyalties don’t necessarily lay with their employers…

Andrei Arshavin
Despite only recently joining the Gunners, fan favourite Arshavin has never hidden the fact that Barcelona are and always have been his team of choice. He has said he was devastated when a move to the Catalan giants never fully materialised when he was at Zenit and has even stated that he would love to play for Barca since he has been at Arsenal. Now if that isn’t a ploy to gain a bigger contract…

John Terry
Mr. Chelsea didn’t make it to Manchester City in the end this summer. Many Chelsea fans will like to think that it is because he is Blue through and through. However, Terry was actually a Manchester Utd fan growing up. Could this be why he couldn’t bring himself to join the Citizens?

Ole Gunnar Solskjaer
The baby faced assassin made a name for himself at Manchester Utd,

Arsenal star bans his WAG from criticising England

Andrei Arshavin’s childlike wife Julia didn’t get of to the best of starts on these shores, when she claimed English people were “too reserved”, the food was rubbish and the country was “dull”.

Since these indiscreet comments, the Arsenal star has transformed the nation’s opinion of his Russian WAG. Did he do this by posing for fun family photos in wardrobes? Did he mastermind the kind of PR charm offensive that transformed Cheryl Cole from a toilet attendant-punching racist to the nation’s sweetheart? Nope, he maintained his ‘traditional‘ view of women and demanded that she hush her gums:

“I’ve prohibited her from complaining about life in England. Since then, there have been no more criticisms.”

Spoiler bonus: Here are the Arshavins posing for Russian Hello magazine, and here they are in personal photos the Meerkat-alike posted to his website.

Advert for swooshy sports manufacturer shows Russian’s tenacity

The latest addition to the advertising campaign that previously showed Wayne Rooney’s utter dismay at shaving off what remains of his hair features Arsenal’s Andrei Arshavin.

The Russian meerkat-alike boldly pushes away a physio, summoning the strength and spirit to play through the pain barrier. A poignant and well-timed message from a man who will miss Arsenal’s next three games with a groin strain.

… revealed in the fascinating trends and statistics below

The bookmakers seem to agree on the 15 leading contenders to be next season’s Premier League top-scorer. they are:

Fernando Torres, Didier Drogba, Nicolas Anelka, Wayne Rooney, Steven Gerrard, Michael Owen, Robinho, Robin van Persie, Emmanuel Adebayor, Dimitar Berbatov, Jermain Defoe, Carlos Tevez, Andrei Arshavin, Frank Lampard and Roque Santa Cruz.

Through a process of elimination, our stat-lovin’ friends at chickendinner have discovered that Nicolas Anelka will not successfully defend his top scorer award, and the eventual winner is quite surprising.

Here it comes…

Over the last decade Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink (2000-01) is the only player to have won it in his first season with a new club.
That rules out: Michael Owen, Carlos Tevez, Roque Santa Cruz

The last nine winners were all playing for a Big Four side.
That rules out: Robinho, Jermain Defoe

Cristiano Ronaldo is the only player to have been Premier League top-scorer without always playing as an out-and-out striker.
That rules out: Steven Gerrard, Frank Lampard, Andrei Arshavin

The last British top-scorer was Kevin Phillips in 1999-00.
That rules out: Wayne Rooney

Still standing: Fernando Torres, Didier Drogba, Nicolas Anelka, Robin van

The partner of the Prem’s biggest misogynist

When Andrei Arshavin wheezed his way over to England in January, he brought three things from his Russian homeland: his fierce fashion sense, his passion for pulling sex faces and his ‘wife’, Julia Arshavin.

We say ‘wife’ in inverted commas, as the couple are in fact not married, but the 28-year-old Arsenal star refers to her as his spouse anyway. It’s a bit like us saying Stan Collymore is our ‘friend’ because we follow him on Twitter. Well, we would follow him if he accepted our request. The grumpy so and so.