The stars who have failed to live up to their transfer fees
As the folks who ploughed their cash into the Sega Saturn, Minidiscs and HD-DVDs will testify, sometimes smart investments don’t quite work out. With this in mind, Spoiler correspondent Joe Thompson has compiled a list of ten Premier League players who have failed to deliver on the financial commitment their respective clubs made to bring them in…
Andriy Shevchenko (Chelsea, £31m)
When Chelsea signed ‘Sheva’ in 2006 on a four year deal, it was for a club record fee - but this was a record breaking player. He’d won everything with Milan, bagged the Ballon d’Or and had twice been top scorer in Serie A. Since his move to West London, however, he’s managed 20 goals in 83 appearances, and a season shipped out on loan back to his beloved Milan. Did he rediscover his form there? Did he f**k. He’ll be 33 next month as a once-great career slides away. Abramovich’s ultimate vanity signing has been his worst.
Kolo Toure (Manchester City, £14m)
While part of the 2003/04 title-winning ‘invincibles’, he could have been in the Best Value top ten. One of Wenger’s best buys for £150,000, he was immense. The past couple of seasons though, Toure and Arsenal have struggled with consistency, with the team’s spine being called into question. Unlike Chelsea with Shevchenko, The Citizens have bought a player who has already lost his form.
Zat Knight (Bolton, £5m)
You’ve got to feel for Bolton fans.
Ukrainian flop is back on the scene, complete with dodgy haircut
When Chelsea beat the Seattle Sounders on Saturday, a vaguely familiar gentleman took to the pitch in a blue number seven shirt. The snazzy new blonde haircut had us fooled for a little while, but when The Spoiler saw him fluff all three of his goalscoring chances we soon realised the mystery man was Andriy Shevchenko, who is set to spend the final twelve months of his four-year contract back at the Bridge.
When Jose Mourinho lost interest in putting Shevchenko in the Chelsea team - the Portuguese manager became increasingly suspicious that the Wentworth resident had moved to England to satiate his love of golf - the Ukrainian was shipped back to AC Milan, the club where he enjoyed the kind of form that warrants a £31m transfer fee. On his return to the San Siro, however, Sheva failed to live up to his reputation, netting a grand total of zero league goals.
His appearance in Washington on Saturday may suggest Carlo Ancelotti intends to put the out-of-form hitman back into rotation at Chelsea, or at the very least, give him the kind of fleeting appearances he enjoyed endured in Milan last season.
So, should the former Ballon D’or winner be given the chance to earn some of his hefty wages on the pitch in 2009/10, or will the likes of Daniel Sturridge and Franco Di Santo keep him fixed firmly to the fringes of the Chelsea squad? Perhaps they should try and cash in on him this summer before he walks away as an expensive white elephant in 2010 (if anyone will take him, that is)?
A further helping of transfer gossip, rumours and damned lies
Andriy Shevchenko to Dynamo Kiev
Shevchenko could be set for a return to Dynamo Kiev, the club where he established himself as one of the best strikers in Europe. President Ihor Surkis claims that the 32-year-old was very interested in the Ukrainian club’s proposal, which would would see him offered a coaching role when he retires.
The Spoiler truth-o-meter: It looks like even Carlo Ancelotti doesn’t want Shevchenko to extend his stay in England and with AC Milan looking elsewhere, a return home seems plausible.
Jose Bosingwa to Bayern Munich
Another player still linked with a move away from Stamford Bridge is Bosingwa, with Bayern Munich confirming that they have no intention of
Wooden Newcastle star fronts incredibly cheesy promo video
When Dubai property investment group The First Group were looking for a high profile football personality to feature in their latest promotional video, they could have picked any of a number of charismatic stars with television presenting experience. Instead, they chose Michael Owen. It’s literally the most boring thing The Spoiler has seen since we went to the Epcot Center.
Spoiler bonus: Andriy Shevchenko has also demeaned himself with one these helicopter videos - see it here.
England 2/ Ukraine 1
It was far from a vintage performance, but last night England continued their 100 per cent success rate in World Cup 2010 Qualification, a feat that only Spain and Holland can also boast.
Premiership flop Andriy Schevchenko (or “ShevSHenko” as David Pleat insists) made the Three Lions regret sitting back on a one goal lead, but thankfully John Terry saved the day with his 85th minute effort.
Spoiler bonus: Wondering why Fabio’s least favourite striker celebrated with a ‘rope pull’ manoeuvre? Smithy told him to do it…
Here’s a great spot from the handsome devils at Off The Post. At first glance, it looks like a performance by a phenomenally untalented boyband. Take a closer look at the chap who snatches a Polaroid from the lady in pink, and you will see a Ukrainian who failed to impress in the Premier League.
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