Tottenham star continues to sabotage his career

David Bentley and his delightfully punchable face found themselves in trouble with the law in the early hours of Wednesday morning, as the Tottenham star was charged with drink driving.

After enjoying a concert by Oasis-AC/DC hybrid Jet in super-trendy Shoreditch, Bentley pointed his £98,000 Porsche 911 Turbo in the direction of his Hertfordshire home. Unfortunately, he was 1.5 times the legal drink driving limit, something that became clear when he smashed into a lamp post near his home at 3am.

A police spokesperson has released a statement:

“He has been charged with a drink driving offence and has been released on bail to return on 28 August. A member of the public called just after 3am to report a single vehicle road traffic collision in Judges Hill, Northaw. A man was arrested at the scene and taken to Hatfield Police Station. This morning David Bentley, 24, has been charged with an offence.”

Bentley has issued a short statement in which he calls the event a personal and professional “wake up call”.

He wasn’t exactly flavour of the month before this incident, and now he’s probably fallen behind Aaron Lennon, the kit man and Sandra Redknapp in the pecking order.

Mark Hughes, snap him up!

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Spurs captain slays the dragon named Dignity

In the early hours of Sunday morning, professional sportsman Ledley King saw fit to launch an alleged alcohol-fuelled racist attack on a nightclub bouncer. For his troubles, he spent a night in a police cell, where, according to sources, he continued to proclaim his superiority over the rest of humanity through tearful eyes:

The drunk Spurs captain “cried and sobbed” in a police cell after trying in vain to get officers to let him go, it was said.

Two men being dealt with at the same station said the star alternately ranted and pleaded with the cops, bragging that he earned £83,000 a week.

They claimed the England ace - arrested after a nightclub row - shouted at the sergeant: “Boss man, boss man, I don’t deserve to be here - I’m rich.”

“Boss man”? Was Ledley locked up on the Green Mile or something?

One of the witnesses was also keen to stress that the Tottenham star lost control of his bodily functions

Tottenham star arrested after racist rant and assault

Picture taken at one of Ledley’s previous violent drunken assaults - click here for the (less exciting) latest one

Ledley King is no stranger to the art of drinking too much and starting a fight (see here, here and here), but he massively improved on his own impressive inebriation benchmark on a visit to London’s Punk club on Saturday night. While demanding entry to the Soho nightspot, the classy Tottenham star dished out some racism and violence, which led to a night in the cells. The Sun say:

The Tottenham captain, who had been out in the West End following his team’s 0-0 draw with Everton, spent the night in a sparse cell in a police station.

[Bouncer] Wahib said: “He was so drunk we told him to come back when he was more sober.

“He walked across the road, opened his trousers and urinated all over the pavement in front of everybody. He came back and was so close to my face I could feel his spit on me.

“He started shouting,

Xerez Club Deportivo should be proud of their top dog

The handsome devil above is Joaquín Bilbao, the president of Spanish second division side Xerez. If you think he looks like the kind of chap who wouldn’t be arrested for his involvement in a shootout in a brothel, you’re quite wrong.

According to Spanish paper Marca, Bilbao and his driver have been arrested for some Wild West antics that occurred last week at a Jerez brothel. The two men are alleged to have shot at the sex establishment in the early hours of Tuesday morning from a car, hitting the door and one of the windows. The shots were said to have woken the neighbours, but no one was hurt as the brothel was closed at the time.

Everton star not willing to forgive police for jewellery shop mix-up

A statement on the Everton club website, Thursday March 12:

“We would now expect [Victor Anichebe] to receive a full and unreserved apology from the police - and then both he and the club would then consider the matter closed.”

A statement on the Everton club website, a bit later on Thursday March 12, after the police issue the apology Anichebe requested:

“Whilst I do fully understand Cheshire Police’s desire to tackle the problem of robberies on jewellery shops in the Knutsford area, I remain deeply upset and very angry about the treatment which was meted out to myself and a friend yesterday (Wednesday).”

We can’t figure out what is more shocking - Anichebe’s reticence to forgive the police despite receiving the apology he desired, or the fact that a footballer used the word “meted” in a statement. Did you swallow a dictionary, Victor?

Police swoop on Victor Anichebe while he browses in shop window

While deciding how to dispose of his generous income at the window of a posh jewellery shop in Knutsford, Cheshire yesterday, Everton star Victor Anichebe was deemed to be “acting suspiciously” by Police. Rather than risk letting the wealthy footballer make a purchase, the fuzz decided the best course of action was to slap him in some handcuffs.

The Sun says:

Officers leapt from a car, surrounded the Nigerian-born Everton ace and handcuffed a pal he was with.

An astonished witness told yesterday how the shaken star - on CRUTCHES after being crocked for the season - was grilled by up to five cops in front of afternoon shoppers.

He kept protesting: “I’m a footballer - I play for Everton. Why would I want to rob a shop?”

The Sun continue by quoting Sean Reynolds, a witness of the incident:

“Either Victor or his mate said, ‘If I was a white man it wouldn’t matter - you’re being racist’. A crowd was gathering by this stage. It was getting more and more agitated.”

While it is fair to cite racism as a motivator for this incident, is not also a tiny bit racist to fail to discern between Anichebe and “his mate”? The quote above may as well start: “One of those black folks said…”

Everton have issued a statement claiming the player was “distressed” by the incident, and that they expect a full apology from the police.

Moronic Chelsea star lives it up while the missus is out of town

As a kind spirit who no longer beats up toilet attendants, Cheryl Cole is currently doing her bit for charity by climbing Mount Kilimanjaro for Comic Relief.

Her lovable husband Ashley Cole was also at a charity event last night, but decided to spice up the evening with a trip to a South Kensington nightclub and a drunk and disorderly arrest:

The Daily Mail online claims that Cole was arrested after repeatedly swearing at police outside the Collection nightclub in Brompton Road, South Kensington.Cole had attended a charity event at Chelsea Football Club before heading to Collection, which he left at 2.15am.

After reportedly refusing to tone down his language, Cole was arrested and taken into custody to sober up, before being released three hours later with a fixed penalty notice of £80 for being drunk and disorderly.

We bet Mr Cole is feeling very sorry for himself today after that wallet busting fine. To stop such financially devastating incidents from occuring in the future, perhaps Guus Hiddink needs to ban his players from getting their crunk on, like Harry Redknapp has.

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