The Daily Mail are claiming Premier League clubs have been leaving the well-being of their multi-million pound stars in the hands of a Serbian housewife who locals describe as ‘looking like Morticia Addams’.
Since her cover was blown by Robin van Persie on Tuesday, Mariana Kovacevic has gone into hiding, leaving the world’s press (and Serbian health officials, who have no record of this horse-guts operation existing) camped outside her clinic in New Belgrade, waiting for her to get back:
Within five minutes of each other Arsenal’s Van Persie left in one direction, while Liverpool pair Glen Johnson and Fabio Aurelio arrived from the other. By last night it appeared that Kovacevic may have already moved her placenta supplies and massage table elsewhere.
Five Gunners stars who should tie their belongings in a red and white polka-dot handkerchief, put it on the end of a stick, and hit the road
[Caught Offside]
West Ham’s female fanbase gets better and better
[The Sun]
Although incredibly irritating, vuvuzelas are clearly a big part of African football culture right now. This is South Africa’s World Cup. Just STFU and get on with it, Japan/Alonso. We’re not in the NFL.
[Guardian]
Hooligans force player to switch clubs
[Dirty Tackle]
Lampsie has two attractive women fighting for his attention
[Daily Star]
New Belgium manager Dick Advocaat was brought into whip an unbelievably underachieving squad into shape, and he’s taking his job pretty seriously. Marouane Fellaini is already a marked man, having missed a match to go to the dentist and reported for training in the wrong coloured socks.
Now Vincent Kompany has felt Dick’s wrath, being told to pack his bags after failing to get back in time from his grandmother’s funeral in Brussels, as Belgium were preparing for last night’s clash with Qatar.
Injured Arsenal striker Robin van Persie is to fly to Serbia to undergo a radical treatment which will involve rubbing fluid from a placenta into his hurt ankle.
As far as The Spoiler can remember from its Biology lessons, the placenta is the organ which allows food and air, as well as poo and wee, to pass between mother and foetus. Placental therapy is especially common in the Far East, where it has been used for repairing injuries to muscle tissue.
Van Persie told reporters:
I am going to receive treatment from a female doctor. She is vague about her methods but I know she first massages you for a long time with placenta fluid. I’m going to give it a try. It can’t do any harm and if it helps it helps.
The Spoiler has no idea what is going on here, but Francesco Totti’s mullet is nice
How have Capello’s England done against the world’s best so far?
[Guardian]
Fans of being laughed at should get John O’Shea’s new signature boots
[Off the Post]
Eduardo is tired of collecting splinters on the bench
[Caught Offside]
Remember Freddy Adu? Of course you do. Next, we want to know where Cherno Samba, Tonton Zola Moukoko, Andri Sigporsson and all the other Championship Manager faux-legends ended up
[BBC Sport]
Kaka wants Beckham at WC2010. So he can run rings around him in a quarter-final
[The Sun]
Ben Foster refuses to accept his own rank mediocrity
[Telegraph]
Arsenal striker scores with baroness 13 years his senior…
Things just keep getting better for Nicklas Bendtner. A week after the Arsenal striker was chosen as the Danish Player of the Year, newspaper reports claim he’s found himself a new girlfriend. One with £400m and a castle.
34-year-old BaronessCaroline Luel-Brockdorff is a member of the Danish royal family who recently ended up quids in after a big money divorce settlement from the cousin of James Bond creator, Ian Fleming.
The couple met when she appeared in an episode of what we assume is the Danish equivalent of Changing Rooms (except she was doing up the family castle rather than a two bed semi in Warrington), in which Bentdner was guest-starring. At the time, she was quoted as saying:
He is charming and bright and he’s very willing to help other people. You never know when our paths will cross again.
Since then their paths, and probably a couple of other things, have indeed crossed, with the Danish high-society set heralding the relationship as a ‘fairytale romance’.
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