Who’s that little guy with the stupid bowl cut?

To a man, every single office worker in the UK dreams of becoming a professional footballer. It’s never too late, they muse, as they stand in the rain tugging desperately on a cigarette, perhaps one day it’ll actually happen… aaaaand wake up! Right, eyes open! Back in the room! Back in the room!

Here’s a clip of Liverpool’s Fernando Torres as a child playing a far better game of football than any undiscovered office worker has ever acheived.

The dream is over, big guy. Let it go.

Move on.

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