Mark Ward makes good use of his time behind bars

During a career that spanned through the eighties and nineties, Mark Ward notched up an enviable list of achievements: he played in Wembley cup finals, scored in Merseyside derbies for his hometown club Everton, and came within a few points of winning the league with the lauded West Ham team of 1986. Stuart Pearce once singled him out as the trickiest opponent he ever face, and after a game at Nottingham Forest, Brian Clough declared: “Take Ward to the [1986] World Cup.”

After being relieved of his duties as Altrincham player/manager in 2001, however, Ward’s fortunes took a turn for the worse. Playing in an era where professionals weren’t set up for life with ridiculous pay packages (his biggest contract earned him £2,000 per week), Ward was getting by on handouts and income support. After accepting an offer to rent out a house in his name and hand over the keys to a third party who would pay him a weekly wage, Ward found himself on the wrong side of the police, who raided the property

Serial WAG threatening to publish her shameless exploits

In a recent survey, it was revealed that approximately 101 per cent of Premier League footballers had boffed not-a-racist glamour model Danielle Lloyd (there’s a one per cent margin of error).

The 25-year-old topless model has made the front page of the Daily Star today (a slot she seems to share solely with Chanelle Hayes and Lucy Pinder) as she is at the centre of a six-figure bidding war for the rights to publish her “X-rated autobiography”. This, of course, spells bad news for her legions of famous partners:

The sexy Scouser is due to lift the lid on her flings with the Premier League’s biggest names and reveal their wild playboy secrets.

Daring Dani’s sizzling new book, guaranteed to be a best-seller, will spill the beans on the stars’ cheating, ­gambling and boozing habits.

“She’s revealing loads she’s never spoken about before,” said a spokesman for the Daily Star babe.

“She’ll talk about her high profile relationships and what ­really went on behind the scenes.”

Danielle - whose known conquests include Marcus Bent , Armand Traoré, Jermain Defoe, Gerard Piqué, Ryan Babel and Teddy Sheringham - has traded off her relationships with sportsmen for years, but made her attitude towards girls who do kiss-and-tell stories very clear last January:

“Women who sell these stories have no self respect. They want to make money and be famous for saying they have slept with soccer stars. But they have no shame.”

Danielle’s book is out in October.

Manchester City star suggests “headline” for autobiography

To put it lightly, Craig Bellamy is a little “hot-headed”. Aware that his past is chequered with golf club attacks, night club fights, chair hurling, fake injury threats, racially-aggravated assault and beating up women, the Manchester City star has joked about the way his life is documented on the interwebs:

If I ever do a book, the headline will be ‘Don’t Google Me.’

We were quite unaware that books had “headlines”, but in the name of investigative journalism, decided to Google him anyway. The results are quite surprising - the first page is filled with details about his charity work in Sierra Leone (with no mention of how he treats the charity workers out there), and one has to scroll through four pages before being greeted with “Bellamy burst into the room and battered Riise like a madman.”

This time, former Arsenal captain slags off Chelsea

Wondered why William Gallas has been doing so much whining and badly disguised finger pointing in the press this month? It all seems to have been carefully orchestrated to promote his autobiography La parole est à la défense, released in France last week. His latest tidbit comes from his hellish time earning hundreds of thousands of pounds at Chelsea. Apparently, he justified some horrific treatment by speaking to Milan behind their backs. That’ll learn ‘em:

“Peter Kenyon, the chief executive, was against satisfying my demands. He made our life hell.
“In May 2006, I told the press of Milan’s interest and my desire to leave the club and of the very attractive offer Milan had proposed.

“This prestigious Italian team were offering me a salary higher than that which I was asking of Chelsea.

“Straight away, I was seduced. Not because of the Euros but of the faith a club gives you, the value they put on you.

“Chelsea said they wanted to keep me and their offer was still open. No one knows how laughable their offer was and what I deserved.”

Gallas didn’t want to reveal the “laughable” offer, but suggested it was between £59,999 and £60,001 per week, on a contract lasting between 3 years and eleven months and four years and one month. For this ridicuous outburst, the Frenchman will undoubtedly receive copious abuse from a certain set of fans on Sunday. We don’t want to name names, but lets just say they play in blue at a ground that rhymes with “Wamford Dridge”…

[Quote: Sky Sports]

Defender reveals more controversy in autobiography

Liverpool’s big man at the back is angry. In his latest work of art, Carra: My Autobiography, he lambasts owners Hank Hicks and Billy Bob Gillett for making £100m each and failing to build a new stadium and invest in strengthening the squad:

“For richer or poorer, we’d sold Liverpool to two ruthless businessmen who saw us as a money-making opportunity.”

“They didn’t buy Liverpool as an act of charity; they weren’t intent on throwing away all the millions they’d earned over 50 years… They wanted to buy us because the planned stadium offered a chance to generate tons of cash and increase

It’s far easier to shaft people from the boardroom

The Spoiler’s serialisation of Dennis Wise’s autobiography continues with his revelation, whilst still playing for Chelsea, that he is just too nice a guy and doesn’t possess the ruthless streak required to be a successful manager.

We’re not so sure that Marcelino Elena, Callum Davidson and Kevin Keegan would agree with Wise’s self-evaluation:

As for the long term, well I would like to stay in football. I have worked for many managers at club and international level. From each of them I have tried to learn something and one day I hope to be able to put what I’ve learned into practise. But management? I don’t know. Despite what you might think, I would hate upsetting people by leaving them out of the team. I know how that feels and, believe me, it is not a nice feeling.

The Italian isn’t a fan of Dennis Wise’s sense of humour

It’s widely reported that Gianfranco Zola will be announced as West Ham’s new manager within 48 hours despite his former Chelsea teammate Dennis Wise supposedly showing an interest in taking him to Newcastle.

Some reports suggest that Zola would prefer to live in London than Newcastle while others claim that the Italian is looking forward to working with compatriot Gianluca Nani.

However, the latest extract of Wise’s autobiography, which is being serialised on The Spoiler, exposes the real reason: Zola wasn’t very impressed by Wise’s practical jokes:

Ratboy’s autobiography reveals unseen admiration

When he started his career as an apprentice At Southampton, feisty midfielder Dennis Wise was a fresh-faced fifteen-year-old lad with FA Cup glory, European success and violent attacks on teammates ahead of him. Also playing on the south coast at that time was a young man named Kevin, whom Dennis was very fond of. With this in mind, The Spoiler’s serialisation of Dennis Wise: The autobiography continues with a gem that makes unlikely reading in light of current events:

I have some lovely memories, like having my picture taken with Kevin Keegan