Theo Walcott is a hit with ladies of all ages…

Now get to donatin’

[spotted over on Kickette]

Also appearing on a computer near you…

Didier Drogba takes football theatrics to seizure-tastic new levels

Jonas ‘Spiderman’ Gutierrez finally scores… but leaves his Spidey mask in the dressing room
[The Sun]

Game of the weekend: Lyon 5 - Marseille 5
[101 Great Goals]

6 stadiums which have sold their souls - although ‘Bargain Booze Stadium’ conjures fond memories of The Spoiler’s student days
[Telegraph]

John Terry will now have a special chant for every member of his family
[News of the World]

Are Eboue and Sagna ready to quit Arsenal’s goal party?
[Caught Offside]

Wee Gordon Strachan thinks marriage is the key to Boro’s problems
[Off The Post]

Which division would triumph in an MLS All-Stars style match?

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The Spoiler was surprised by the results of yesterday’s poll, where 76% of you disagreed with Cristiano Ronaldo’s claim that La Liga was stronger than the Premier League.

That poll took into account a number of factors: for example the difference between the best and worst teams, entertainment value and European success. Today, we want to focus on which is the better league in terms of galacticos.

Let us know which of the two teams we’ve created to represent each league is stronger - and if you disagree with our line-ups tell us who you would pick instead - with a vote and comment below:

Sulky captain complains about complaining team mates

It seems that Arsenal’s disappointing start to the season isn’t only down to Professor Wenger’s mismanagement - captain William Gallas has revealed the team are squabbling like a bunch of school girls:

“When, as captain, some players come up to you and talk to you about a player…complaining about him… and then during the match you speak to this player and the player in question insults us.”

“There comes a time where we can no longer comprehend how this can happen.

“I am trying to defend myself a bit without giving names. Otherwise I’m taking it all [the blame]. It’s very frustrating.

“I’m 31, the player is six years younger than me.”

Gallas refused to name the troublesome player, but Arsenal’s 25-year old stars include Bacary Sagna, Emmanuel Eboue and Robin van Persie. Given his confrontational nature, we’d be willing to bet it was the Dutchman with the French exchange student haircut who caused the kerfuffle.

Captain Gallas also revealed that there was a commotion at half time during the 4-4 north London derby thriller:

“There was a problem at halftime. The only thing that I could say at halftime was ‘Guys, we resolve these problems after the match, not at halftime.

“We have to

Stoke boss quotes Abraham Lincoln in website riposte

“Most Managers up and down the country are very protective of their Football Clubs and that protection is usually at its height in “after game interviews”, where we defend our team’s performances and our players’ mistakes in every way possible - from blaming referees not seeing players’ indiscretions and so on. We have every angle covered.

In Stoke-on-Trent on Saturday evening Mr Wenger talked openly about Arsenal’s encounter with Stoke, as being a “typical English encounter”. He commended my team’s organisation, my team’s commitment and confessed that on the day Stoke City thoroughly deserved to win the game. Very open and very honest.

Over the weekend Arsenal have been criticised by the media over their commitment to not only our game, but also previous games they have been involved in.

In London 48 hours later and 150 miles away from Stoke-on-Trent, Mr Wenger changed tact and has tried to rewrite history.

Has the professor finally lost the plot?

For years he has had one of the safest jobs in the Premier League, yet this season Arsene Wenger has seen a great deal of the Arsenal faithful calling his mystical abilities into question (indeed, a phone-in discussion between fans on talkSPORT last night was so heated the police and several ambulances would have been called if they were sharing the same room).

It seems that Bacary Sagna was right to frame this season with low expectations: three league losses, a sagging midfield and rumoured disarray behind the scenes have lead 40 per cent of Spoiler readers to believe the big-brained professor will suffer his first non-big four finish in English football in 2008/09.

So, will Arsene and his motivational handouts get through this difficult period unscathed, or is it finally time for change at The Emirates? Let us know with a vote and comment below…

First teamer can’t take any more of the Professor’s strained vegetables

Arsene Wenger is credited as a pioneer in the use of sports nutrition in the Premier League, cleverly phasing out the cakes and lager in the Arsenal players’ diet and substituting them with healthy, if inedible, protein infusions in his eternal quest for points and cups.

It seems, however, that he may have pushed things too far, as at least one player has snapped. Creeping out in the dead of night last Saturday, none other than full back and gastronome Bacary Sagna was spotted at 3 am shoving a double burger with fried egg into his face at the fine kosher eaterie ‘My-Ami Burger’ on the Golders Green Road. “In case you were wondering,” says our spotter, “and you probably weren’t,” he wisely adds, “the name of said burger bar is a pun on the word ‘ami’ which is hebrew for the Jewish people.”

Seen any other Arsenal players going off-menu recently? Feel free to comment below.

Is this the best team in the Premier League?

Make no mistake, friends, the ‘Big Four’ are so-called because they’re brilliant. So brilliant that were you to merge them all together to create a “best of” team, some huge names would fall by the wayside. We are, of course, referring to the likes of Craig Lindfield, Andriy Voronin, Justin Hoyte, Darren Fletcher, Shaun Wright-Phillips. Just some of the football legends who didn’t make the cut.

GK Petr Cech (Chelsea)
No longer the best in the world, not even the best in Premier League - Friedel, James and Given are better. But he is the strongest in the top four, despite a horrendous Euro 2008. Should his terrible run of luck with facial injuries continue, he should end the season playing in a humiliating gimp mask.

DL Patrice Evra (Man United)
After an appalling debut (losing 3-1 to Man City, coming off at half time), Evra suddenly morphed into a fantastic player. Some might argue that Cole or Clichy are more deserving of the spot, but they’re wrong. Cole would bring the whole dressing room down with his awful personality, and Clichy is behind Evra in the France pecking order.

DC Rio Ferdinand (Man United)
It’s easy to forget that underneath the silly record labels, the totally pointless “merking” and the strange skew-whiff mouth, Rio Ferdinand is just a man, standing in front of you, asking you to tell him he’s brilliant at football. Don’t worry, Rio, you are. In fact, you’re our cap-i-tan.