Tres bon indeed

Bordeaux’s Michael Ciani had already sliced the ball into his own net to give Bayern an early lead, but twenty minutes later, the big centre half equalised with a Zola-esque flick from a corner. For more great back-heel goals, click here 

Is that chicken? We hope that’s chicken

Unsubstantiated rumours suggest that Bayern Munich’s Daniel van Buyten has pine kennel teeth, and shortly after this picture was taken he chewed right through the bone and swallowed it.

After yet another underwhelming performance (a draw with FC Köln helped them to 274 minutes without a goal and eighth place in the table), Die Roten’s stars ‘lederhosened up’ to celebrate the final day of Oktoberfest on Sunday.

Check out more pictures here.

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Fergie helps to push Jonny Evans down the aisle during a press conference
[Off The Post]

Nereida Gallardo is on the cover of Portuguese Maxim
[Poprosa via Kickette]

Revealed: Roma’s terrifying new stadium
[Dirty Tackle]

Dallas have finally won at the Cowboys Stadium, and this couple were keen to celebrate (NSFW)
[Deadspin]

Carlos Tevez won’t be offering Utd fans the courtesy he showed West Ham
[Daily Mail]

Who actually owns Leeds Utd?
[The Guardian]

Luca Toni looks set to join West Ham in January
[The Telegraph]

FC Köln striker vaults a fence to show appreciation to fans

Those who dipsair at Emmanuel Adebayor’s attitude and Gary Neville’s defence of outrageous salaries can find solace in Lukas Podolski.

The Polish-born German national team striker played for FC Köln from the age of ten, but was begrudgingly sold in 2003 when Bayern Munich turned up with an irresistible €10m cheque. When the arrival of Luca Toni pushed him down the pecking order in Munich, however, Podolski returned to his childhood club for a similar €10m fee. Such was the Cologne fans’ love of their returning hero that they set up a website in order to raise money to fund the re-signing.

Since his return to North Rhine-Westphalia, Podolski has reciprocated the love shown to him by fans. Last night, FC Köln caused an upset in the DFB-Pokal cup (the German equivalent of the FA Cup)

…and neither will Chelsea (Boom! Boom!)

Real Madrid were among a number of clubs who desperately tried to throw exorbitant amounts of money at Bayern Munich for the services of Franck Ribery this summer, and the Frenchman himself admitted to fancying the prospect of sunning himself in Spain.

Despite their relentless pursuit of the Bundesliga’s best player, Los Blancos will not attempt to sign him in the winter transfer window. In lieu of a decent reason for this decision, sporting director Jorge Valdano told Marca:

“I do not think that the winter transfer market is made for players of the size of Ribery.”

At first, we suspected Valdano of backing our ‘Ribery has been replaced by a dwarf‘ conspiracy, but then it became clear that the Spanish giants intend to stick to their original plan of swiping him next summer:

“Ribery is now a matter of the past. But perhaps he is indeed an issue again in the future. “

Also appearing on a computer near you…

Arjen Robben’s pretty decent Bayern Munich debut set to pretty crappy music
[The Offside]

Stoke seal the deal with Danny Collins
[The Guardian]

Follow us on Twitter
[Twitter]

A photo casebook of David Beckham’s love for cheerleaders
[The World of Isaac]

Niko Kranjcar passes his Tottenham medical
[The Mirror]

Steven Pienaar is being sued by his WAG because he didn’t marry her
[Kickette]

Spoiler promotion: For all your football betting needs, visit bwin

Is it bye bye Bayern for the Frenchman?

The BBC transfer deadline day live text reports that Franck Ribery has been spotted in several London locations.

Is this a fraudulent attempt to spice up a relatively dull transfer deadline day, or a genuine reason to give Chelsea fans a “quarter chub”? We’re siding with the former at the moment, but we’ll bring updates as soon as we can.

The latest transfer gossip, rumours and damned lies…

Sulleyman Muntari to Tottenham
While Jose Mourinho tries to persuade Wesley Sneijder to come to Italy via text message, ‘Arry is keen to bring the midfielder to the Lane. He will offer Jermaine Jenas and £5m in return, say The Sun.

The Spoiler truth-o-meter: Redknapp wants to sign a former player? That can’t be true…

Arjen Robben to Bayern Munich
It seems that Manchester Utd have failed in their attempts to land the crocked Dutchman,