Wondering how Roy Keane’s fortunes changed? It wasn’t anything to do with overspending, tactics or confidence, it was all down to his ambivalent attitude towards facial hair. Observe:

20th September 2008
Facial hair status: clean shaven

Result: 2-0 win over Middlesbrough

27th September 2008
Facial hair status: gruff

Result: 1-0 loss to Aston Villa

25th October 2008
Facial hair status: smoother than an Arsenal reserve player’s backside

Result: 2-1 win over Newcastle

29th November2008
Facial hair status: Arctic fisherman

Result: 4-1 hammering by Bolton

Note to Paul Ince: DON’T GROW A BEARD!