Spurs star wrongfully accused of driving violation
Yesterday, the Tottenham squad flew off to Beijing for a pointless money-spinner pre-season friendly with West Ham, but Darren Bent was hauled off the plane at the eleventh hour as his switch to Sunderland finally went through. The underperforming hitman, however, wasn’t the only one to miss the flight, as Jermain Defoe found himself in a spot of bother with the law.
Defoe was pulled over by traffic police yesterday, who believed he was banned from driving. The striker explained that a six month penalty imposed earlier this month was suspended pending appeal, but the fuzz were having none of it, and threw him in a cell at the station in Harlow, Essex for five hours. Unlike a certain member of the Tottenham squad, it is believed the 26-year-old did not cry or wet himself while in police custody.
He was eventually freed at 9am yesterday, after it was revealed the ‘Police National Computer’ [the what?] had not been updated.
After losing five hours in which he could have been boffing ladies he met in Movida, it is understood Defoe may sue for his wrongful imprisonment.
The hopelessly romantic Brazilian found love in Beijing
Tubby Brazilian star Ronaldinho had a relatively unspectacular Olympic tournament, but he made an effort to spice it up by asking 24-year-old Swedish footballer Johanna Almgren to marry him.
The thoroughly romantic AC Milan man popped the question using a translator, but not before attempting to seal the deal with his sexy moves. Spanish rag Marca reports:
“Ronaldinho came over to me, look me directly in the eyes, then took my hand and kissed it. Later on, his interpreter asked me to come up to his room.”
Soon after she declined his kind offer to see his room, Ronny’s translator broke the big news. To find out if blonde Göteborg FC winger Johanna accepted the proposal and to see some pictures of her, read on…
Woman doesn’t need reflective strip to get noticed…
When people spoke of the future in olden times, their stories were cluttered with images of strange aerodynamic helmets, skin tight outfits fashioned from spandex, and zany metallic machines with wheels, handlebars, and a bell. What those prehistoric prophets didn’t realise was that what they were describing, almost exactly, was Victoria Pendleton, Great British cyclist.
Hailing from the shiny kingdom of Bedfordshire, Victoria is a champion track cyclist, and when she’s not going round and round in circles, she has been known to glam up for a sexy photo shoot or two. See the results after the jump…
Fans of the 1984 romantic comedy Splash (SPOILER ALERT: Tom Hanks becomes sexually attracted to a demi-fish) know just how sensual great swimmers can be. In that movie, the magnificent underwater flirt was Daryl Hannah, and in real life, it’s an Australian woman called Stephanie Rice - winner of the 400 metres individual medley at this year’s Olympics.
Aside from having just about every swimming badge you can imagine sewn onto her cozzie, Stephanie is recently single. Before the games she was going out with some chump called Eamon, but apparently they broke up about a month ago. Hence, she would definitely go out with you.
There was so much wrong about Hitler - the indie kid haircut, the Chaplin moustache, the ill fitting suits. Not to mention his massive racism issues and war waging. What was with that, Adolf? Seriously. Anyway, no matter, we killed him in the end, and all of his mean Nazi cohorts ended up looking like idiots. That all happened in about 1945, but it was a whole nine years earlier, in 1936, that a brilliant young black athlete called Jesse Owens kicked off the humiliation by beating a load of Aryans at running and jumping. He won four gold medals in Berlin.
Seriously guys, don’t ever get into a fight with a gymnast. They might look all cutesy with their tight clothes and great posture, but these people are all muscle and rage. They breakfast on raw eggs, they lunch on raw steak, and they down vanilla Nurishment like it was water. Yet, even so, some of them are still gentle on the eye. Like, Alicia Sacramone for example.
The 20-year-old American can do all kinds of wild and crazy things, like walk on a beam, do somersaults on mats, and in the picture below she is defying all logic by bending her body around like it were made of a taut jelly. She’s already enjoyed a silver medal at this year’s Olympics.
More pictures of a woman stretching after the jump…
In 1996 the whole of the country was gripped by a massive depression thanks to Gareth Southgate and his stupid foot. Why did he have to miss that penalty? Why? It could have been our year. Hence, pretty much everyone forgot that over in Atlanta, there was a whole Olympic Games thing happening - the star of the show being a man called Michael Johnson. A tremendous runner, he bagged gold medals in the 200 and 400 metres that year, all the while running in the style of a baddie from a Charlie Chaplin film. Hilarious - nice one, Michael.
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