The big UEFA Cup news is that Everton have drawn Standard Liege in the first round. That’s one tough draw. All made slightly less terrifying by the emergence of some pictures of the Belgian team’s enormous centre back, Oguchialu Jacob Onyewu - otherwise known as Gooch - and his lady friend, draping themselves around the house. Everton will, of course, respond to these taunts by sending over pictures of Yobo and Jagielka flower arranging at a church fair, or Lescott whispering secrets to a kitten.
For another take on things, head over to Kickette.
Manchester City striker helps South America recover some pride
With little help from tubby star Ronaldinho, Brazil have managed to overcome the unstoppable force of Belgium to earn a bronze medal in Beijing. Manchester City will feel slightly better about paying Jo’s wages, as he managed to slot away two goals in the 3-0 victory.
Arsene Wenger admitted in June that he’s been tracking the progress of Vincent Kompany since he was 16, but that he wouldn’t sign him this summer because his defence didn’t need strengthening (which seems strange considering they’ve just bought Mikael Silvestre).
Anyway, it looks like someone at the City of Manchester Stadium with supersonic hearing listened to Wenger coo and decided the Belgian defender might be a useful asset. His German club Hamburg, managed by Steve McClaren impersonator Martin Jol, have confirmed that they have agreed
Perhaps one day someone will start a sentence with “there’s an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman” without it being a joke about people in boxes saying “potatoes” - it could even be used to introduce a Great British football line up. How wonderful would that be? Although, of course, the Irishman would have to come from the less green-grassy part of the emerald isle, and more the cobbled street bit where horses run wild (that’s the north, right?). Until that day, though, we’re going to have to content ourselves by gazing jealously at the other countries who get to call their footballers Olympians. Here’s eleven to keep a hungry eye on this year…
GK Brad Guzan, USA
Aston Villa’s (other) new American goalkeeper called Brad, the USA’s decision to make him one of their three over-23 players - he turns 24 during the tournament - shows just how great he is. That, of course, will count for nothing when he gets to Villa and warms the bench for the next decade, as Friedel becomes steadily more decrepit but still brilliant.
DL Marcelo, Brazil
Real Madrid signed the left wing-back in 2007 and he became a regular starter last season, pushing Gabriel Heinze into the centre. Unsurprisingly, he gets compared to Roberto Carlos - everyone does - and found the net on his international debut against Wales.
DC Vincent Kompany, Belgium
For those who spend their weekends playing Football Manager instead of talking to girls, you already know this guy, he’s one of the best buys in the game, damn it! And as it turns out, the 22-year-old isn’t too shabby in real life either. Right now he’s at Martin Jol’s Hamburg, and The Spoiler’s computerised West Ham.
DC Ezequiel Garay, Argentina
With all the Ronaldo talk this summer, Garay’s arrival at the
Dutch youngster Roy Beerens (right) clearly went to the Vinnie Jones school of getting to grips with opposing players. Muchos thank yous to Eugenia for the spot.
