Today’s gossip, rumours and damned lies

Following Niall Quinn’s announcement that the Black Cats are pushing for the Champions League, the Drumaville consortium have decided to strengthen the squad. This weekend, they have been spotted lugging a giant shopping basket in Lancashire and East London…

Benni McCarthy to Sunderland
Paul Ince chose to pick Jason Roberts over the South African on Saturday, so might be tempted to sell if Sunderland are able to raise the £9 million that Blackburn are thought to value the striker at.

The Spoiler Truth-o-meter: After a fantastic first season, McCarthy’s importance at Blackburn has fallen

Anton Ferdinand to Sunderland
Roy Keane’s spending isn’t going to stop there though as he looks to spend £8 million

Today’s gossip, rumours and damned lies…

Reportedly, Hamburg’s Martin Jol politely enquired as to whether Liverpool would part with Dutch striker-turned-winger Dirk Kuyt, but was left petrified, alarmed and severely shaken after Rafa Benitez mentioned the £16m price tag. With no new wingers arriving, he will be needed again at Anfield, so a transfer looks unlikely.

Benni McCarthy to Blackburn
McCarthy doesn’t match any of Roy Keane’s three transfer target requirements (played for Manchester Utd, played in the Championship, comes from Ireland) yet a £7 million offer for the South Africa is being readied.

The Spoiler Truth-o-meter: Keane wants another striker and Santa Cruz has stolen Benni’s thunder, but Ince may want to keep hold for now

Gael Givet to West Ham
East London can breathe

WARNING! Some of these men are old enough to be your brother…

At 66-years-old, Sir Alex Ferguson still knows how to ruffle some feathers and get some backs up. Just this morning he studied the horizon to make sure Scholes and Giggs were out of earshot, and then let rip at Chelsea for being a bunch of bleeding pensioners. The Spoiler is, of course, paraphrasing. But it was a bit like that.

Here’s the big question: How would this team of doddering old fools get on against the younger bucks? Pretty well, we think…

GK Shay Given (32, Newcastle)
Aww, we remember little Seamus when he was just a fresh faced little bunny rabbit playing for Newcastle United, and now look at him - absolutely the same. It’s like the man sleeps in Oil of Olay (or Ulay to people in their 30s). One of the best around.

DL William Gallas (30, Arsenal)
Yes, the snappy defender would probably have one of his toddler tantrums about having to play left back, but it was either him or Phil Neville, and we’re not going to make that mistake again. Just do as you’re told, Gallas, you idiot.

DC Jamie Carragher (30, Liverpool)
Contrary to how it sounds, when Jamie Carragher stands in front of you snorting, hacking and clearing his throat, he’s actually speaking. Thankfully, his on-field communication is much less foggy. A hero.

DC Ricardo Carvalho (30, Chelsea)