Today’s alliterated movers and shakers in the world of soccerball
The papers believe Frank Lampard is one step closer to the European fashion capital because Jose Mourinho has taken five days off his holiday to broker the deal. Yes, that’s a full five days he’s missing from his year-long vacation, so you know he means business.
Cristiano Ronaldo latest
Sir Alex Ferguson’s threat to let Ronaldo rot in the reserves is threatened by a FIFA ruling allowing players to rip up their contracts if they don’t play in 10% of matches. We doubt Fergie will be too scared: he could just play him in the Community Shield, League Cup, a nothing Champions League group game and against Hull and Stoke.
The Spoiler Truth-o-meter: Another stupid FIFA rule that will have little effect on the deal
Italian football to accept Adebayor defeat
AC Milan no longer believe they have a divine right to any Premier League player they want and will give up pursuit of Adebayor after Arsenal rejected an offer. Real Madrid may wish to take note. Dick Advocaat’s announcement that Andrei Arshavin will move to Spain or England won’t do much good for Italy’s ego either.
The Spoiler Truth-o-meter: Kudos to Milan if true
Aaron Lennon to Newcastle
So let’s get this straight. After a massive losing streak, King Kev stumbled
Does the armband belong back with Terry, or should it grace another bicep?
Stevie G was handed the captaincy in Capello’s first match in charge, but should he be in command at the France game next week, and indeed in the run up to 2010? Other contenders include John Terry (who is as much of a bully as Capello, but prone to injury, unnecessary aggression and illegal parking), Rio Ferdinand (who’ll probably be too busy and ‘merking’ people), David Bentley (a young player who is likely to feature prominently in the future), Micah Richards (whose favourite film is Home Alone) or Frank Lampard (whose favourite film is a tie between Dirty Dancing and The Notebook).
Sometime England skipper confirms priorities: 1) Me 2) My lunch 3) Everyone else
Running late for a leisurely lunch at Pizza Express, John Terry decided the empty 50p-an-hour car park was too much of a strain for a man who runs around for a living, so he did what any other self-absorbed ignorant fellow would do, and stuck his huge Bentley in a disabled bay.
It doesn’t matter that it’s against the law and potentially depriving a needy individual of access to local amentites, because the fine is only £60, a mere 0.04 per cent of JT’s weekly wage. And the Pollo ad Astra was GOOOOD.
Don’t worry - he’s getting the seats in his Bentley re-stitched
These days, the biggest problem for a Premiership star when relocating isn’t changing the kid’s schools, selling up the home or even dealing with the impossibly inefficient staff at BT. Sorting out grotesquely-personalised tat must come first.
Following his whopping £1.5m move to Derby, Robbie Savage has announced that he has already made plans to remove the ‘No8’ stitching from the seats of his Bentley. To show commitment to his new club and his unquestionable vanity, the man
