Rubbish team will strike, but English club could save the day

Fresh from a bizarre centre circle protest last week, relegated Levante are planning to ruin Real Madrid’s championship celebrations on Sunday. Players of the financially-troubled club, who are owed around 18million Euros in wages, are unapologetic about a plan to strike and spoil Real’s big day. Captain Luis Manuel Rubiales said:

“Madrid has fans all over Spain, including in our team, and we are the last ones to want to cause it [sic] trouble.”

Levante has not been training all week and are adamant they will not play the league game, which means Madrid will be awarded all three points. If they find themselves contractually obliged to show up for a friendly tie, however, the players also have a scheme to enrage the Bernabeu faithful: according to some Spanish reports, they will field seven players (the minimum

How the hell did they fall for this?

Last week we told you how Nicolas Cage was a special guest of the Real Madrid president when they lost to Roma in the Champions League. Except the actor, whose limited talents may be seen in Leaving Las Vegas and Face/Off, was nowhere near the Bernabéu - the club and its entire directors’ box were duped by an Italian impersonator, whose acting talents are obviously far better than his doppelgänger’s.

The picture above is the chap who conned his way in, Matchstick Men-style, posing with a man who couldn’t possibly have seen anything from the Cage canon, and who cannot distinguish between Italian and American accents. Good work, Real!

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Not Real Madrid’s best week - out of the Champions League and gubbed by a prankster.

This, from today’s Guardian: “Nicolas Cage was at the Bernabéu on Wednesday, watching from the directors’ box with politicians, judges and former players as Real Madrid crashed out of the Champions League. Before the match the star of Snake Eyes and Raising Arizona was presented with a Real Madrid shirt by the club president, Ramón Calderón. After the game he was taken into the home dressing room to meet the players. There was just one problem. The man getting an access-all-areas pass was not Cage at all but an Italian impersonator.”