Has C-Ron tempted an untainted beauty?

Another day, another attractive model to have fallen for the advances of Cristiano Ronaldo. His latest victim is said to be 21-year-old Raffaella Fico.

The Spoiler, however, questions the authenticity of the relationship on account of the fact that the Italian beauty is partial to a publicity stunt. She hit headlines last year by offering her virginity for one million euros, claiming she would use the cash to buy a house in Rome and acting classes. When a bid came in, the “devout catholic who prays every night” turned it down, prompting cynics to suggest that she never intended to go through with it.

Soup du jour model likes her men hairless and vain

Those with far too much free time will have seen the first episode of Big Brother last Thursday, where a pair of 30GG breasts entered the house, followed a few minutes later by their owner Sophie Reade. (Throw the 20-year-old’s name into Google images and you will see the nature of her employment, provided the ‘Safesearch’ option is turned off.)

By posing for Playboy unencumbered by clothing in 2008, the Cheshire model fulfilled her ‘greatest ambition’, and also revealed her love of a certain Manchester Utd star. When asked ‘Which celebrity gets her hot?’, Sophie said:

Christiano Ronaldo has a brooding Spanish charm and he is incredibly athletic so I wouldn’t have to worry about him flaking out on me.

Playboy are keen to stress that Sophie failed all her GCSEs, which may explain her love of the Portuguese star’s ‘Spanish charm’. Playboy shouldn’t feel too smug though - they manage to spell the name of the world’s most famous footballer incorrectly. Twice.

The interview continues:

Describe your dream date and with whom?
It would be with Christiano Ronaldo who would shower me

Say hello to Romania’s hottest TV presenter

Whereas certain footballers will happily fornicate with any lady who pays them attention in Movida, others have very specific types. Cristian Chivu, for example, only likes brunette Romanian television presenters. Before settling down with Adelina Elisei, the Inter Milan enjoyed the company of Andreea Raicu.

Former Big Brother star may have brought epidemic to Teeside

Faces nightclub noticed a dramatic decrease in business recently, as two of its most loyal patrons - WAGs Chanelle Hayes and Chantelle Houghton - were enjoying a luxury holiday in Mexico.

While the trip was undoubtedly intended to alleviate the stresses of occasionally taking their clothes off in Nuts, the Big Brother beauties may have come home with a little more than a tan: The Daily Star claim the pair are being checked out by doctors to make sure they haven’t caught the deadly piggy flu.

Chanelle is slowly working her way through the Middlesbrough team, and is currently dating midfielder Matthew Bates. If she is found to be carrying the flu, it is very likely Bates will have it, and therefore the entire Boro squad would have to be checked out.

Fortunately for Tottenham, Chantelle Houghton no longer entertaining Jermain Defoe.

Serbia’s finest reality star and pop princess

Until this morning, we had no idea that Hertha Berlin had a central defender named Gojko Kačar. However, thanks to a relationship with Serbian Big Brother contestant, pop star and TV host Ena Popov, he is well and truly on The Spoiler map.

No football money to be made, gamble on TV shows

Don’t believe everything you read in newspapers, magazines, pamphlets, novels, on the back of matchboxes, and in dreams, this season of Big Brother has been by far the best yet. The pretty boys and will-be-WAGs were booted out early doors, leaving us with a house crammed not with young show offs demanding celebrity, but with society’s outcasts seeking acceptance.

There’s Mikey, the zany blind man who seems incapable of eating anything he hasn’t licked first. Then Darnell, the young American Albino black guy who is convinced that even the insects are whispering about him - he’s friends with Rex, a posh chef who’s life before Big Brother was spent explaining to lapdancers exactly what he had in mind next. And then there’s the girls - Rachel who has never even seen a swearword written on a piece of paper in pencil, and Sara who lost her voicebox as a child and had it replaced with a Moog keyboard.

Head over to Chickendinner to find out which one of these young legends will be crowned Prince of The House this evening.

The Mexican beauty who definitely doesn’t have a sex tape

Joining fellow Mexican model Elsa Benítez in the WAG of the Day hall of fame is the terribly good looking Galilea Montijo. The 35-year-old actress and bikini connoisseur is famous in her home nation for appearances in television shows such as Big Brother, Bailando por un Sueño (basically their version of Strictly Come Dancing) and a romantic drama called La Verdad Oculta (‘The Hidden Truth’). She is also renowned for her relationship with Mexican footballer Cuauhtémoc Blanco, creator of the natty ‘Blanco Bounce‘ trick.

Tomorrow’s headlines today

Look at you, sitting there, gorging yourself on all things Big Brother. You need to take some time out for football, friend. Here’s all the big news from the day after today. Otherwise known as “tomorrow”…

Portsmouth want Ronaldo
No, the world hasn’t gone completely bananas, Cristiano isn’t desperate to move to Fratton Park, this is the REAL Ronaldo. The one who’s fat and looks a little bit like Fred West (pictured). The injured striker didn’t have his AC Milan contract renewed and is looking for someone to take pity on him - kindly Harry Redknapp might be the man for the job.

Chelsea signing off without playing a game
Eagle-eyed Avram Grant signed two players as Chelsea manager: Nicolas Anelka - he who missed the decisive penalty in the Champions League final - and Branislav Ivanovic, who cost £9.7 million but is yet to play a game. Chelsea supposedly beat off Man United and the whole of Italy for the defender’s signature, but are now ready to offload him to Juventus for under £4 million. Now, The Spoiler ain’t no Carol Vorderman, but that sounds like bad b’iness to us.