The slightly dull national team shirt just got interesting

For too long, the attractive ladies of our fair nation have been crying out for a means of displaying their patriotism and most of their skin simultaneously. Finally, their needs have been met with the England bikini kit.

It looks like something Sepp Blatter dreamed as part of his crusade to ’sex up’ the ladies’ game, but the skimpy uniform has come to pass thanks to the chaps at Loaded magazine, who have commissioned a number of England kit designs to be auctioned on behalf of the PSP Association (a charidee dedicated to the support of people with Progressive Supranuclear Palsy).

The Spoiler’s second favourite design from the range is the world’s first England kit for dogs. That’s right, dogs…

The nation’s hottest WAG officially goes off the market

Having met Peter Crouch many times during his Southampton days, The Spoiler knows for a fact that he is a thoroughly decent chap, and undoubtedly one of the most genuine characters in the game today.

However, we can no longer hide the fact that we secretly hate the man who has somehow managed to persuade Abbey Clancy to spend the rest of her life with him. The Sun begrudgingly reports:

“He has been thinking about getting engaged for some time. But he wanted to wait for the ideal moment.

“As a bit of a romantic, he thought it would be a great idea to ask Abbey to marry him when it was just the two of them together in Sardinia.”

His agent Jonathan Barnett confirmed the pair are engaged.

After Crouchie “put a ring on it” in Sardinia, the couple then jetted off to Ibiza. It’s known known whether the Portsmouth star was wearing his ‘Luckiest bastard int he world’ T-shirt when he began his second holiday with one of the nation’s finest bikini wearing talents, but he damn well should have been.

Spoiler bonus: Some classic Abbey hotness after the jump…

Another fine WAG offering from South America

Real Madrid’s Fernando Gago is a lucky man. Not only does he have access to Sergio Ramos’ hair straighteners, but he also has a knack of attracting the attention of fabulously good looking Argentinean women.

In addition to the lovely Pía Martinez, Lady Gago has also romantically entertained Luli Fernández, a famous model, actress and, er, ice skater.

Also appearing on a computer near you…

Palmeiras coach Vanderlei Luxemburgo becomes the first manager to resign via Twitter
[101GG]

Seriously, where does this guy keep getting all these brilliant Dimitar Berbatov photos from?
[Dirty Tackle]

All your Abbey Clancy, Alex Curran and Sylvie van der Vaart bikini holiday picture needs covered in one post
[ONTD]

The Germans are messing about with kit colours ahead of tonight’s Euro U21 final
[Daily Mail]

West Ham tracking Marc-Antoine Fortune and Eidur Gudjohnsen
[The Telegraph]

Completely random link: An Austrian Fashion journalist named Brüno gives Conan O’Brien a lapdance
[YouTube]

Also appearing on a computer near you…

The one who isn’t the fat one in Gavin & Stacey is making light of Newcastle via Twitter
[Off The Post]

Feyenoord fans didn’t like their new kit, so they completely changed it
[The Offside]

Robinho suggests Kaka’s taste in music is even worse than Ronaldo’s
[Pies]

Abbey Clancy and her bikini make Italy a better place
[The Sun]

Interestment’s Football Window Watch: Liverpool edition
[Interestment]

Atletico Madrid insist Sergio Aguero is not for sale
[Football365]

…OK, he is for sale, but he’s very expensive
[Daily Mail]

Italian WAG Sara Tommasi is an expert in bikini wearing
[On205th]

Alan Hutton to Everton
[Goal.com]

Did Slovakia’s finest sportslady enjoy a tryst with a Madrid star?

Up until January, Real Madrid’s Wesley Sneijder was married to lovely Dutch lady Ramona Streekstra. The dissolution of their relationship and Sneijder’s subsequent €6m divorce payout may have had something to do with strong rumours that the attacking midfielder was seeing Slovakian tennis star Daniela Hantuchová.

Sneijder denied any such rumours (and has since started a relationship with model Yolanthe Cabau van Kasbergen), but any excuse to draw attention to Miss Hantuchová’s bikini wearing abilities cannot be passed up.

Portuguese star tells us all about his favourite bank

“Where am I going to be in three years?” asks Cristiano Ronaldo in this advert for Banco Espritio Santo., who are evidently the lucky institution the tricky winger has selected to deposit his mountains of cash.

Although the World Player of the Year makes it clear his long term future does not lie in Manchester (”Maybe I will be in a warm place, maybe I will be in a cold place. maybe I will be here, or there.”), we do get a glimpse of his world famous modesty: “I looked like an actor, didn’t I?” he quips at the end of the clip.

[ONTD]

Try saying that name after a few lemonades

Wesley Sneijder divorced his wife Ramona Streekstra in January, and hasn’t wasted any time in getting back in the game. Our girls at Kickette inform us that the Real Madrid star has started seeing Yolanthe Cabau van Kasbergen.

The 24-year-old has carved out a career in modelling and TV presenting in the Netherlands, and for her efforts, the Dutch have voted her FHM’s Sexiest Woman in the World twice (2006 and 2007 if you must know).