Tuesday’s Daily Mail ran with some intriguing facts and myths about the brain - not the big issues, such as why their readers have such difficulty with the concept of people from Africa and Eastern Europe or the residents of council estates - but “fun” facts, such as “Exercise helps keep your brain fit.” Were this true, Premier League footballers would be amongst the nation’s most mentally agile, yet any post-match interview culled at random from the thousands performed each season would demonstrate that this is patently not so. However, as the season reaches its dramatic climax - one chair, two arses, music stops Sunday - mental toughness has become the key theme of pre-game chatter. Chelsea have “the momentum”, whereas United have to go and play in a potato field at Wigan. John Terry says Chelsea have “a steely determination”, whereas the Guardian believes Alex Ferguson will be “frowning”. The fact that at this late stage Chelsea are still pressed up against United like a sex-pest commuter must be driving the reds mad with irritation.
Using this logic and a shed load of statistics, the boys at chickendinner believe Chelsea will crush Bolton, and take the league title too. Disagree? Then back United here, smart arse.
The statistics
* Manchester United haven’t won any of their last four away games in all competitions.* They have failed to win their final away game
While most sane people have spent the morning looking to the heavens trying to figure out where all the drizzle is coming from, the rest of us have been discussing London Elections, chomping back numerous bags of crisps, and keeping a casual eye fixed angrily on transfer rumours. Here’s what it found out.
Dean Ashton to Newcastle
Kevin Keegan is reportedly eyeing up Ashton to take over Mark Viduka’s role of standing perfectly still while Michael Owen and Obafemi Martin zip around in circles like dogs chasing a bumble bee. Ashton is rumoured to be keen.
David Villa to Tottenham
Days after emphatically declaring Arsenal as his dream destination, it looks like David Villa might throw caution to the wind and go to Spurs instead. Luckily for him, Tottenham fans are hugely forgiving - just ask Pat Jennings… or Sol Campbell.
The race to be anonymous in the Championship next year is heating up
Now that the Championship has morphed into toddler football matches where twenty-two hyperactive maniacs thunder around a field chasing the ball, teams would be wise to stick to the Premier League. Already Derby will be practicing their head-down running techniques, and Fulham should probably start swotting up on moping around in the centre circle crying for mummy. The rest, however, might still be allowed to play football next season.
The statistics
* In the last seven seasons, ten teams have conceded sixty-five or more goals in a season and each one has been relegated. This season Derby have let in seventy-six, Reading have now let in sixty-five.
* Nobody higher than 17th in the league at this stage of the season have gone on to be relegated in the last ten years, which
Who should be roughing it in the Championship next season?
With just three games to go in the league, it looks as if Mr Al Fayed has booked himself a first class one-way trip to the Championship with Derby next season. Just one relegation spot remains in contention, and Bolton, Reading and Birmingham find themselves teetering dangerously close to the edge.
According to Right Result (the site that shows you how the table would look if refs got all the key decisions right), the relegation places would already belong to Bolton (whose own fans can’t even be bothered to turn up to home games) and Reading (whose recent form is only slightly better than that of Derby). But who deserves it this season? Is it one of the three current drop fodder, or a team who currently find themselves in safety? Rudderless Newcastle and inconsistent Middlesbrough spring to mind…
In his post-game email this week, Arsene Wenger tried to defend Abou Diaby’s thoroughly dangerous challenge and subsequent sending off by describing the incident as a ‘protective tackle’. What does that mean? Is it like a defensive strike on goal or an attacking penalty save?
Premier League, tonight, 8pm, Sky Sports 1, bet here
Great things about Bolton: they opened one of the first public libraries in 1853, there is a Steam Museum where you can see some AMAZING steam engines, and for people who find Peter Kay remotely funny, great news, Peter Kay is from Bolton. On the downside, however, the local football team is going to spend Wednesday night getting smashed to pieces by the bigger boys
Things don’t look good for Bolton. They are highly unlikely to use their game in hand to their advantage, and will undoubtedly continue to warm up that final drop zone place for Newcastle. Manchester Utd are 1/6 favourites to make Arsenal fans ponder their wayward form tonight, but there may be better value in backing Skybet’s 5/2 for the home side to score 4+ goals (something they have done in three of the last four meetings with Bolton at Old Trafford). Get right on it!
Tennis: ATP Masters
Indian Wells Day Five (Sky Sports 2, 6pm)
Premier League
Manchester Utd/ Bolton Wanderers (Sky Sports 1, 8pm) - chickendinner betting preview here
In light of English teams’ recent propensity to face shootouts in the UEFA Cup, Gary Megson would do well to put his (second choice) team through some last minute penalty drills. At present, you can get odds of 22/1 on either team going through on penalties, and after a deadlocked first leg, fans of lightning striking three times will want to pile on.
UEFA Cup Round of 32
Sporting Lisbon/ Bolton Wanderers (Five, 7.30pm)
Cricket - Second Test
New Zealand/ England (Sky Sports 1, 9pm)
