Answer: no, not any more.

Oh, and Mike, someone’s dad wants his clothes back.

The best sports on the telebox this weekend

With the Snooker World Championship, a full Premier League fixture list and the Calzaghe/ Hopkins fight going down this weekend, there really is no need to leave the couch. So, er, don’t.

Spoiler reader offer: The Calzaghe fight is on Setanta, which normally costs £9.99 a month. However, if you click here and quote 1904 before midnight tonight, you can get Setanta for £5 for the first three months. So that’s the big fight, the Blackburn/ Manchester Utd game and the rest of the Premier League season for a fiver - get on it!

FRIDAY

Blue Square Premier
Burton Albion/ Stevenage Borough (Setanta Sports 1, 7.45pm)

SATURDAY

Premier League
Arsenal/ Reading (Sky Sports 1, 12.45pm)

Snooker
World Championship (BBC1, 1pm)

Championship
Stoke City/ Bristol City (Sky Sports 1, 5.15pm)

Premier League
Blackburn Rovers/ Manchester Utd (Setanta Sports 1, 5.15pm)

Calzaghe/ Hopkins, Sunday, 4am, get Setanta here

After a week of heavy promotion, humble Joe Calzaghe is still coming to terms with seeing his face plastered across slot machines, blackjack tables and room keys in the City of Sin. Provided that he isn’t over-awed by the bright lights, huge buffets and gentleman’s clubs that Las Vegas provides in such large helpings, the bods at chickendinner believe Calzaghe will be victorious in the fifth round. How did they come to this assertion? Check out their rounds betting guide to find out.

Super special Spoiler reader offer: The big fight is only available on Setanta. Subscribe for just £5 a month for the first three months if you sign up before Friday night - simply click here and quote code 1904.

[Picture: Machochip]

Without this WAG, there would be no big fight this weekend

After a thoroughly messy divorce in 2005, Joe Calzaghe very nearly gave up boxing: “If I’m made to pay her 50 per cent of all my future purses then what’s the point of boxing? The taxman already takes the other 50 per cent!” Throughout the separation debacle, however, he was given the strength to carry on by actress and model Jo-Emma Lavin. The twenty-seven-year-old Welsh beauty, who is lucky enough to have two Christian names, attends every fight and is the main reason he gets in the squared circle today:

“Jo-Emma really gave me the added belief to keep going. She just kept telling me I could do it.”

Sunday April 20, 4am, Setanta Sports 1, bet here

Now that the Western hemisphere’s addiction to the reality show has reached near chronic levels, and a generation of kids who think it perfectly natural to emotionally destroy friends and colleagues is ready to contaminate the workplace, it’s good to see some good old fashioned fist-on-face back on the entertainment menu. Joe Calzaghe and Bernard Hopkins will be taking on the roles of “hammer” and “tongs” in Vegas this weekend, although even boxing is not without its hammy emotional soundtrack. Calzaghe was poor, very poor, and was fighting before he was ten. And Hopkins is bad, prison bad. You feel me? Why do boxing’s mightiest oaks only ever grow from hardship? When are we going to see a world title fight featuring, in the red corner, a young man with three decent A levels who has just spent his gap year teaching orang utans to sing, and in the blue corner, a former young musician of the year who hopes to open a funfair for orphans? Baron Lloyd Webber - this sounds like a job for you.

The Spoiler is not in the habit of tipping, but get on Calzaghe. They are both old, but Hopkins is ancient, and only has one good muscle left - his mouth muscle.

Super special Spoiler reader offer: This fight is only available on Setanta. Subscribe for just £5 a month for the first three months if you sign up before Friday night - simply click here and quote code 1904.

The statistics:

* Joe Calzaghe has battled Americans on fifteen occasions, winning ten by TKO, two by KO and three by Unanimous Decision.

*His three unanimous decision victories

Boxer finds the quick route to low self esteem

Edison Miranda may have an incredibly effeminate name, but you wouldn’t exactly pick a fight with him if he spilled your pint. He does things like this:

The unlucky recipient of Miranda’s fist was David Banks, a fellow super middleweight fighter, who was

The best sport on the telebox this weekend

Ricky Hatton has been known to put away twenty pints of Guinness in one sitting, and many of his greatest fans will be dangerously approaching that tally by the time his 3am fight rolls around on Saturday night. In fact,

‘Hitman’ has weight of nation’s gambling hopes on his shoulders

As if preparing for the biggest fight of your life thousands of miles from home against an undefeated boxer ranked one of the greatest of all time wasn’t enough pressure in itself, Ricky Hatton will be pleased to know that a record number of