Ex-WAG still fascinates us…

Every single human being has lived through the traumatic night terror about arriving at work having forgotten to get dressed properly.Your colleagues laugh at you, pointing at your pathetic spotty boxer shorts, your weedy legs, their cackles lodging in your brain, never going away. Taunting you at nighttime. Hence, The Spoiler’s heart goes out to Danielle Lloyd - famous for servicing the sexual wants of Teddy Sheringham - who opened an Ultimo Shop in Debenhams in Dudley with just her bra on (pictured), exhibiting a curious mile-wide cleavage. Clusters of guffawing photographers were on hand to catch her putting a brave orange face on things, weirdly.

Chin up, Lloyd. Chin up.

Finnish/ Italian beauty who may or may not own any clothes

Finnish actress and model Anna Kristiina Palomäki was raised by her mother in Italy, but found that her surname was prohibitive to getting the kind of work that a pretty young lady with ample cleavage deserves in the boot-shaped nation (i.e. naked calendars, dodgy films and cheap-looking-vaguely-pornographic entertainment shows). Soon after she changed her moniker to Anna Falchi, however, her fortunes changed and she eventually enjoyed a fling with serial WAG-rutter Matteo Ferrari (who has also sampled the delights of nudity fans Debora Salvalaggio and Aída Yéspica).

Say “hello, actress” to AN ACTRESS

It’s not just our footballers who dip into the glamourous world of entertainment to find their girlfriends, American sportsmen do it too. Brad Penny, a famous baseball player with the LA Dodgers, insisted on taking an actress for a WAG. For those uninitiated into American culture, baseball is their version of rounders, and his actress girlfriend is a popular thespian called Eliza Dushku.

An antipodean cricket wife who can rock a cow-print bikini

Neil McKenzie - the man who smacked England all over the place for nine hours at Lords recently - has seen his cricket career hampered by awkward jibes of “where’s your sister,” mainly because she looks like this. Having a sibling voted the hottest woman in South Africa by a popular men’s magazine did prove beneficial, however, as he married her best pal, a Wonderbra model named Kerry McGregor.