Togolese striker copies a winning formula to attract a new club

After Michael Owen’s glossy brochure landed him a new job at Manchester Utd, Emmanuel Adebayor has adopted a similar technique for seeking gainful employment.

See the rest after the jump…

Could the former Liverpool striker be heading to Old Trafford?

If the bookmakers are to be believed, Manchester United could be on the verge of filling the Carlos Tevez sized gap in their squad with a striker who is sincere, clean & fresh and, most importantly of all, first class.

The Red Devils are now down to evens with Sky Bet to sign former Newcastle forward Michael Owen, having previously been available at 20/1.

Coincidentally, Karim Benzema’s move to Real Madrid prompted discussion in The Spoiler office yesterday about the possibility of Sir Alex Ferguson signing a domestic striker to play second fiddle to Wayne Rooney and Dimitar Berbatov next season. Unfortunately, as we were only factoring Premier League strikers into the equation, Owen slipped our mind.

Do you think there is any substance to the rumour or have there simply been some misguided bets placed this afternoon? If not Owen, are there any strikers playing in England who it might be worth United gambling on? Let us know your opinion with a comment below.

UPDATE: Owen is now 4/7 4/9 to join Manchester United.

Striker doesn’t fancy the trip to Doncaster next season

The incredulous 32-page brochure published on his behalf has made him seem about as attractive as a shit-flavoured lollipop, but Michael Owen has today insisted his future lies outside of St James’ Park.

Speaking to Sky Sports News, the 29-year-old striker has insisted he has generated interest outside the UK, but would prefer to stay in the Premiership:

“There has been a lot of interest from abroad and quite a bit from home as well, but obviously the Premier League is where I feel I belong.

“I am still contracted to Newcastle for a few weeks, so that is where I am at the minute. I don’t think I am going to be re-signing at Newcastle, as one I don’t think I am going to be offered a new contract and I want to play in the Premier League or a top division somewhere else.”

Everton and Aston Villa have both been linked with the charismatic striker, but the only club who appear to have expressed a firm interest are Hull. Either Owen had failed to read any newspapers this morning, or he is deliberately ignoring Phil Brown’s advances in the hope that they

It’s as ridiculous as you could ever imagine

“Charismatic.” “Cool.” “Fit & healthy.” These are just three of the terms no one in their right minds would apply to Michael Owen, with the apparent exception of his representatives Wasserman.

The 32-page brochure designed to encourage his sale has finally leaked, and it is as unprofessional as it is woefully misguided and desperate. Take, for example, the third page, which features a short biography that is completely unnecessary for anybody vaguely familiar with professional football. They earn bonus points for approaching the Italian and Spanish translations in the same way as a lazy fifteen-year-old GCSE student - “Michael will be out of contract and can soon consider a challenge far away from the park of St James’ Park” is quite clearly the result of cutting and pasting on a free online translator…

As a testament to his “Fit & healthy” brand value (well it’s more of a characteristic of a sportsman than a brand value), there’s an endorsement by the doctor who worked with Kieron Dyer, Damien Duff, Dean Ashton and Craig Bellamy. Apparently, grouping Owen with other incredibly injury prone players is an excellent way of conveying his unfaltering health…

See more of the document that will almost certainly lower Michael Owen’s future wage expectations after the jump…