Police confirm 32-year-old left a suicide note at the scene

Robert Enke, goalkeeper for the German national team and Bundesliga club Hannover 96, was found dead last night after an apparent suicide attempt.

Enke’s body was found at a level crossing in Neustadt am Rübenberge, on the outskirts of Hannover, after he had been hit by a high-speed train. Police have confirmed there was a farewell note left at the scene. The Guardian reports:

The 32-year-old was hit by the train as it passed through a crossing at Neustadt-Eilvese on its route between Hamburg and Bremen. Police said the Hannover 96 captain’s car, parked metres away from the tracks, was unlocked and his wallet still inside.

The two train drivers reported seeing a man on the tracks and applied the brakes while travelling at about 100mph but could not stop in time, police reported. Enke was pronounced dead at the scene.

Enke had been expected to secure a starting place in Germany’s World Cup 2010 squad. Last night fans were leaving tributes to the Hannover 96 captain at the team’s stadium.

Trick or Treat? Probably neither

Brian Clough famously said, “Anybody who can do anything in Leicester but make a jumper has got to be a genius.” How apt it is then, that Leicester City are tonight’s visitors at the nation’s first boutique football club, Queens Park Rangers. Sky Sports 1 offer that at 7:45 whilst at the same time on ESPN, Borussia Dortmund will be looking to swipe bottom club Hertha Berlin.

Germany vs Honduras is the afternoon offering on British Eurosport from the U17 World Cup. Get in quick - it finishes in a fortnight.

FC Köln striker vaults a fence to show appreciation to fans

Those who dipsair at Emmanuel Adebayor’s attitude and Gary Neville’s defence of outrageous salaries can find solace in Lukas Podolski.

The Polish-born German national team striker played for FC Köln from the age of ten, but was begrudgingly sold in 2003 when Bayern Munich turned up with an irresistible €10m cheque. When the arrival of Luca Toni pushed him down the pecking order in Munich, however, Podolski returned to his childhood club for a similar €10m fee. Such was the Cologne fans’ love of their returning hero that they set up a website in order to raise money to fund the re-signing.

Since his return to North Rhine-Westphalia, Podolski has reciprocated the love shown to him by fans. Last night, FC Köln caused an upset in the DFB-Pokal cup (the German equivalent of the FA Cup)

They pose in homoerotic photoshoots, of course

If you thought David James was the only shot stopper to abandon modesty in front of a camera lens, think again.

As Heinz Müller made the move from Barnsley to Mainz this summer, Bild have unearthed a picture from the 31-year-old’s clothes shy past. “I was young and needed the money,” he said while reflecting on the generous distribution of suds around his man zone.

Hang on, who’s that little guy with the scar?

Bayern Munich general manager Uli Hoeneß has today told Bild that he would sell Franck Ribery to Real Madrid only if an offer of €100m was made.

We’re not ones to start conspiracy theories, but it is possible that the Germans have already done a deal with the La Liga side, replacing him with a tiny replica in the hope that no one would notice?

Bayern general manager plays down Blues’ bid for Frenchman

Earlier this week, the nation’s least accurate favourite tabloid claimed that Roman Abramovich would personally fly to Germany to thrash out a £40m deal for Real Madrid target Franck Ribery.

For that kind of money, the Blues would probably expect all of the Frenchman’s body parts, but Bayern Munich general manager Uli Hoeness has insisted that this isn’t the case:

“What does he expect for [£40m] - Ribery’s right leg? Seriously, we stopped talking about Franck leaving a month ago because it isn’t going to happen.”

Once again, Bayern are adamant that they will not relinquish their grip on the Bundesliga’s biggest star, even though he has personally expressed his desire to play for Madrid.

Ribery was not fit for the start of the Bundesliga season, but Bayern coach Louis van Gaal allowed him to train with the France team this week as a means of improving his recent grumpy attitude. Despite the Dutchman’s claims that he would not be fit to face the Faroe Islands last night, he did play in the second half.

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Louis van Gaal to prevent top stars from getting their grooves on

In his first attempt to impose some authority on his newly inherited Bayern Munich squad, Louis van Gaal has insisted that his players cut sexy disco visits out of their routines.

According to Bild, the disciplinarian Dutchman will be monitoring his players’ extra-curricular activities, presumably through a network of “disco detectives”. Van Gaal said he will be paying particularly close attention to notorious night spot P1, Munich’s equivalent of Movida where Munich’s equivalent of Danielle Lloyd probably hangs out.

Turkish midfielder Hamit Altıntop - clearly a fan of pounding German techno music and lady-based fun - does not seem to agree with the restrictions:

“Work is work. Private is private. The coach has said nothing to us about this.”

Popular Bayern striker Miroslav Klose, however, won’t miss the Munich nightlife:

“Every player needs to behave professionally, and needs to know what is right and important. I know some players who went to the disco every day.”

After making these comments, Klose apparently went and put an apple on Van Gaal’s desk. Simultaneously, Franck Ribery reportedly scrawled ‘Ass Kisser’ on Klose’s car, before running behind the bike sheds to smoke cigarettes and look at porn with Luca Toni.

[A tip of the cap to IMScouting]

The European Commission’s decision to deny Sky Sports the right to broadcast every televised game will again hit fans in the wallet

The Spoiler hoped that the one good thing that could potentially stem from Setanta’s collapse would be Premier League football being made cheaper to watch - obviously we weren’t too optimistic but we kept our fingers crossed.

However, it has today been confirmed that ESPN’s new UK channel will launch on August 3 at a premium of £9 a month to Sky Sports customers and £12 to those who have Sky without the sports packages.

Whereas with Setanta, you were also getting FA Cup, Blue Square Premier, Bundesliga and international games thrown in for your money, ESPN’s 46