Sergio Aguero could be on his way to the Premiership

According to reports in Spanish newspaper AS, have a back up plan if they don’t manage to secure the services of fit & healthy charismatic striker Michael Owen. Apparently, they will offer Atletico Madrid €46m for Sergio Aguero, the man who is currently diddling Diego Maradona’s daughter (and possibly some unscrupulous models).

The Spoiler truth-o-meter: The Atletico hitman is under contract in Spain until June 2012, and has a €60m buy-out clause in his contract. Last time we checked, the number 46 was less than the number 60, so we don’t think this one has legs.

Florentino Perez puts Dr Evil-style ransom on new star

Yesterday, Madrid-based paper AS told us about the “anti-sheik” clause in Cristiano Ronaldo’s contract - potential suitors would have to fork out for a buy-out clause of €200m before the Portuguese man-o’-sex could leave Los Blancos.

Today, however, the folks at the other Madrid paper, Marca, have insisted that this buy-out clause is actually five times larger than AS claimed.

That’s right, if anyone wishes to lure C-Ron away from the Bernabeu during the next six seasons, it will cost them a minimum of one billion Euros.

To put it into perspective, that kind of money could buy Real Madrid’s last 66 signings. It’s also enough to pay Joey Barton’s legal expenses for one year, and is thought to be the same amount that Harry Redknapp keeps in his mattress.

Astronomically high buy-out clauses are nothing new in Spain: Lionel Messi has a €150m clause on his deal, while Carles Puyol, Raul and Ruud van Nistelrooy can only be unshackled for €180m.

The world’s most grotesque transfer gets, er, grotesquerer

Having secured his services for a modest €94m, Real Madrid have gone to drastic measures to ensure that Cristiano Ronaldo will not “pursue his childhood dream” elsewhere before his new Bernabeu deal expires in 2015.

According to Spanish paper AS, Florentino Perez will insist on a €200m buy-out clause in his contract, making it virtually impossible for another club to poach him away.

The Madrid-based newspaper affectionately refers to this stupendous contractual stipulation as the “anti-sheik” clause - a reference to the failed advances of Manchester City’s owners for Kaka in January. Apparently, Barcelona’s Lionel Messi has a similar deal in place, whereby potential suitors will have to fork out €150m for his services.

AS say that C-Ron is delighted with the astronomical buy-out clause, as it is a recognition of his value and status as the best player in the world.