No footballer is safe from the Essex model’s “charms”

Those who likes their WAGs with ridiculous breast implants, dozens of incongruous tattoos and absolutely no concept of shame are in luck today.

Jodie Marsh first entered the national consciousness by documenting her quest to become a topless model in reality TV show Essex Wives. She then decided to go outside wearing nothing but an array of belts, and has been entertaining us with her dry witticisms and highly lauded TV appearances (Totally Jodie Marsh: Who’ll Take Her Up the Aisle?, It’s Me or the Dog) ever since.

In 2004, Jodie claimed she had a steamy liaison with Frank Lampard, but her bona fide ticket into the world of WAGdom comes from Marcus Palmer, the Solihull Moors (Conference North) striker who put up with her for a few months last year.

Calum’s new TV show looks, um, great

He can’t even kick a ball, but Calum Best is a Premier League WAG charmer

According to Monica Harris, The Spoiler’s all-important insider lurking in the glamourous world of exclusive clubs/bars like Movida and ‘whites, the gravy train that young models all yearn to board departs the minute you snog a footballer, or, at the very least, Calum Best.

Only last night, a young will-be WAG had the pleasure, and by the looks of things, Calum is a real chip off the old proverbial. See how he incorporates his revolting slimy tongue into a simple everyday greeting? That’s called French Kissing. Footballers are known to love a frenchie.

Welcome to WAG-town, woman (pictured). Population, you.

Gordon Taylor somehow ended up with an OBE

The 2008 New Years honours list was chock full of professors, researchers, emergency services officers, philanthropists, and many other folks whose time and effort have contributed to making the nation a better place in the past year.

Also in the list sits Gordon Taylor, Chief Executive of the PFA and the highest

How to socialise like the WAGs and Gaffney

Do you have plenty of money but no class? Why not head to Soho’s very own cultural void, Chinawhite? For a mere £650 yearly membership fee, you could be rubbing shoulders with fame-hungry glamour models, Paul Danan, and Mick Hucknall tonight! Here’s the lowdown…

Where: Just off Picadilly Circus, in the basement of the Cheers bar. Even though Cheers is technically supposed to be in a basement itself.

How much: As previously mentioned, yearly membership is