Footballers to be impervious to attack while driving to training grounds and local shopping centres

In light of the recent extended spate of burglaries in Cheshire, Merseyside and Manchester, several Premiership players will be bullet proofing their cars.

The Sun report that (unnamed) players from Manchester Utd, Everton and Liverpool are worried by the prospect of ambush and kidnapping, and see their flash motors as “soft targets”. With extra security mods, cars will be able to withstand hammer, gun and bomb blasts.  A made-up security industry insider told the newspaper:

“It’s all very well turning your property into a fortress. But as soon as you step outside you become a target.

Tottenham star continues to sabotage his career

David Bentley and his delightfully punchable face found themselves in trouble with the law in the early hours of Wednesday morning, as the Tottenham star was charged with drink driving.

After enjoying a concert by Oasis-AC/DC hybrid Jet in super-trendy Shoreditch, Bentley pointed his £98,000 Porsche 911 Turbo in the direction of his Hertfordshire home. Unfortunately, he was 1.5 times the legal drink driving limit, something that became clear when he smashed into a lamp post near his home at 3am.

A police spokesperson has released a statement:

“He has been charged with a drink driving offence and has been released on bail to return on 28 August. A member of the public called just after 3am to report a single vehicle road traffic collision in Judges Hill, Northaw. A man was arrested at the scene and taken to Hatfield Police Station. This morning David Bentley, 24, has been charged with an offence.”

Bentley has issued a short statement in which he calls the event a personal and professional “wake up call”.

He wasn’t exactly flavour of the month before this incident, and now he’s probably fallen behind Aaron Lennon, the kit man and Sandra Redknapp in the pecking order.

Mark Hughes, snap him up!

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Manu’s car gets some unwelcome attention

A snippet from our friends at Popbitch:

Emmanuel Adebayor may not be winning the Arsenal fans player of the year award. He parked his car outside a North London pub popular with the club’s fans last week and came back to find it in something of a slightly less-good state when he returned.

Drinkers at The Bailey had amused themselves by making some slight changes to the paintwork as a thank-you for the effort he’s been putting in on the pitch recently.

No Vauxhall Nova is safe around Barcelona striker

After years of trying to sell us compact cars, Thierry Henry has blown one up in his latest advert.

The chaps at Reebok decided the best way to market their Valde boot is to show some potentially lethal consequences of their use. It’s a fairly decent concept, but we can’t help thinking the money would have been much better spent in making the boot a bit less ugly.

Liverpool captain puts his motor on Auto Trader

We were under the impression that Premier League footballers throw their cars in the bin when they grow tired of them, but apparently some try to sell them too. Last year, Steven Gerrard sold his Range Rover Sport on Auto Trader like some sort of common person, and he’s been at again.

The Liverpool captain’s Overfinch Vogue GT (a heavily modified version of the Range Rover Vogue) has been put up for sale on Auto Trader for £52,900 - £30,000 less than he paid for it last year.

Stevie G has customised the gas guzzler with £4,000 alloy wheels, an £1,800 DVD entertainment system, £700 wool carpets and the number eight etched into the armrests.

Should you wish to purchase this car, you will join a list of Overfinch owners that includes Shaun Wright-Phillips, John Terry, Jermaine Jenas, Jermaine Defoe and Peter Lovenkrands.

Unfortunately, the luxury re-styling company are also responsible for Stephen Ireland’s pink wheels.

[Auto Trader]

Republic of Ireland star finally explains the sexy pink 4×4

In order to publicise his “journey from ridicule to respect,” The Daily Mail have published a feature on allegedly respectable Manchester City star Stephen Ireland.

Lead by a picture of the midfielder leaning against a stained glass window while looking all thoughtful, the puffy piece sets out to distance the player from the world of fictional deceased grandmothers, ‘Daddy Dick’ and the rest of the tomfoolery that has defined his career.

Within the interview feature, Ireland answered a question that has plagued Spoiler readers since February 26th 2008 - why the heck did he think a Range Rover with pink wheels and trim was a good idea?

‘The car was [Ireland’s girlfriend] Jessica’s,’ he said with a huge grin. ‘I only drove it once. Just my luck it was photographed and ended up in the News of the World. We sold it soon after as someone scraped a key down it.

Realistically, Ireland and his WAG had no choice but to sell the car after someone vandalised it. After all, it would have looked completely ridiculous with a key scrape down the side.

Manchester City star’s hilarious modes of transportation collage is starting to get a little crowded

Great news for environmentalists: Robinho has overcome his fear of driving on the left side of the road in spectacular style by purchasing a £170,000 Lamborghini Gallardo LP560-4. His supercar purchase was badly timed, however, as team mates have thoughtfully purchased him a £590 annual bus pass, due to his penchant for riding with Manchester’s proles. Someone made up by The Sun A Manchester City insider said:

“Players thought it was hilarious. They gave him the pass in training. They cut his picture from a team photo and copied his signature. Now he’s got a Lambo, it doesn’t look like he’ll need it.”

The Brazilian is now one of several footballers in the Lamborghini owners’ club - Wayne Rooney had one which he crashed, and Robbie Savage uses his to let others know he is better thanthem.

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