Reserve striker calling the shots at the Bridge

According to this morning’s Independent, the top brass at Chelsea are showing their football nous by giving peripheral benchwarmer Andriy Shevchenko an important role in selecting the next team manager. The West London club are still keen on hiring Milan’s Carlo Ancelotti (you know, the chap who has turned them down a couple of times already), and the man who couldn’t persuade his way into the first team has been asked to persuade the Italian:

The 31-year-old striker is one of several people Abramovich has consulted over the recruitment of a new coach and is understood to have urged him to carry on with his pursuit of the man he played under at Milan, despite being rebuffed last week.

Originally Abramovich had only intended to speak to Ancelotti to ask him his opinion on who he should appoint but, under the advice of Shevchenko among others, he decided to offer the 48-year-old the post.

In other news, the groundsman who punched Patrice Evra has been asked to lure Samuel Eto’o to the club, while a 17-year-old girl who works at a burger stand in the Shed End will be holding interviews for a new marketing director.

Milan gaffer can’t go 45 minutes without his beloved cancer sticks

In Italy, one can alleviate the stress of top flight management by enjoying the cool refreshing taste of a filthy mid-game cigarette. Sparking up on the touchline in the UK, however, was outlawed pretty much at the same time as the death penalty and witchcraft. Considering Carlo Ancelotti’s crafty antics at last year’s Celtic/ AC Milan game, he wouldn’t last five minutes in any of the Premier League’s fine smoke-free stadia - so it’s no wonder he has decided to stay ‘loyal’ to his current employer.

Still think Ancelotti will come to West London? Put your money where your persistent opinion is right here, you crazy fool.

[Chelsea Pies]