Expect a megayacht-load of new faces rocking up at the Bridge…

The Court of Arbitration for Sport have temporarily suspended Chelsea’s FIFA-imposed two-window transfer ban, leaving the Blues free to sign players until a final decision has been made over their appeal:

The FIFA Dispute Resolution Chamber imposed, inter alia, a restriction of four months’ ineligibility on Mr Gael Kakuta, and Chelsea Football Club Ltd was banned from registering any new players, either nationally or internationally, for the next two complete, consecutive registration periods. Such sanctions are now stayed until the CAS renders its final decision in this matter.

Despite this (unsurprising) bit of good fortune, the success of Chelsea’s appeal isn’t guaranteed - there’ll almost certainly be a stockpiling of players in the January transfer window, especially if Ron Gourlay wants two Champions League trophies in the next five years.

So who should be top of the shopping list? Sergio Aguero? Angel di Maria? Frank Ribery?

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Fabio Cannavaro inspires the Five Worst Doping Excuses list
[Off The Post]

Sulley Muntari dismisses rumours of a Tottenham switch
[Goal.com]

As always, Sergio Ramos looks ri-god-damn-diculous
[Kickette]

Cheryl Cole is hot, confusing
[Dirty Tackle]

West Ham target Luca Toni wants a move to Napoli
[Daily Mail]

Bye bye Peter Taylor
[LMA]

Carlo Ancelotti backs his former employer Milan to improve, probably with a huge grin on his face
[The Mirror]

It’s like the Crossbar Challenge, but more corner-y and Chelsea-ish

Piror to their Champions League encounter with the acronym-tastic APOEL this week, Lampsie and JT were in a competitive mood. With Signor Ancelotti looking on, the Chelsea stars squared off against one another in order to see who could score directly from a corner.

Have the Blues found themselves a new set piece specialist?

[Footy Factor]

Blues boss can only get riled up in his mother tongue

Thanks to the expert tuition he received at a Nunnery in Holland over the summer, Carlo Ancelotti’s grasp of English is improving at a tremendous rate (his oral skills have already eclipsed those of, say, Carlos Tevez, who after three years on these shores rarely speaks anything but Spanish).

While the Chelsea manager is confident enough to drop cheeky jokes in English, his command of the language isn’t sufficient to give his players a rollicking. Hence, his assistant Ray Wilkins suggested that he let rip in Italian, operating under the vague hope that JT, Lampsie and co would somehow take his criticisms on board:

“Only one time have they upset me, in a friendly against Reading. We were losing 2-0 at half-time and I wanted to be angry, but I didn’t have the words to convey that emotion. Ray said I should use Italian and then they can see by the look on my face that I am upset. When I am angry, I have to speak in Italian.

Of course, shouting at players in barely decipherable language is not a new concept in English football - Alex Ferguson has been doing it for over twenty years.

[The Telegraph]

The latest transfer gossip, rumours and damned lies

Andrea Pirlo, Franck Ribery and Sergio Aguero to Chelsea
Chelsea have been searching all summer for what they call a “marquee name” and now The Daily Mail expect them to bring three in at once by spending £100 million on Pirlo, Ribery and Aguero.

The Spoiler truth-o-meter: The Blues have been linked with Pirlo ever since Carlo Ancelotti’s appointment and that looks a reasonable possibility but Bayern Munich have said Ribery is no longer available and Aguero is supposedly happy to stay in Spain.

Joe Cole to Spurs
Obviously the arrival of two more midfielders would damage Cole’s chances of

Referee suffers temporary bout of colour blindness

Having lost all three of their matches in the Americaland World Football Challenge, including a 2-0 defeat at the hands of fierce rivals Inter Milan last night, it’s fair to say that Post-Ancelotti AC Milan have not enjoyed the greatest of form.

Rossoneri fans, however, were given something to smile about in the Milan derby, however, as Ronaldinho was mistakenly given a red card. It was shortly replaced by a real yellow card. Oh, such fun times.

The latest transfer gossip, rumours and damned lies

Peter Crouch to Liverpool
Despite selling him to Portsmouth for £11m last year, Rafa Benitez is interested in bringing Crouchie back into the fold, say the Daily Star. It would cost £12m to steal the lanky striker away from potential suitors Tottenham.

The Spoiler truth-o-meter: Crouch has snubbed Sunderland and Harry Redknapp has been quoted in the Daily Mail saying wage demands may scupper the deal, so a return to Abbey Clancy’s homeland isn’t unfeasible.

John Terry to stay at Chelsea
Following Didier Drogba’s confident endorsement of his captain, Carlo Ancelotti has insisted Mr Chelsea will not sell his soul:

“John Terry, I repeat, is the captain of this team and he will be the symbol of this club and this team for many years.

“It’s not been a problem in these last few days. He will be the captain of Chelsea in the future.”

Chelsea manager drops pretend bombshell in press conference

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During his most recent press conference, Carlo Ancelotti claimed that Chelsea had brought Andrea Pirlo over from AC Milan, only to cheekily retract his statement.

Either he is football’s greatest prankster since Franck Ribery, or the nuns who taught him English were playing a Monty Python-style trick on him…