The Spoiler

Mexico’s ’80s inspired kit, Tevez is an ideal housewife, and the Blues Brothers


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Well in.

Luke Young retires from international football
[BBC Football]

I think a “LOL” is in order here. Is that Adrian from Rocky?
[Pies]

After the Rafa/Phil Brown/Jedward mashup of a few days ago, Fleet Street’s Photoshop goons are excelling themselves
[The Sun]

Carlton Cole - Liverpool’s unlikely hero?
[Caught Offside]

Mexico’s new kit takes inspiration from the shittest fashion trend in a long while
[ONTD]

Behind the scenes at WC2010
[Daily Mail]

Schumacher’s 1994 Benetton car? Yours for £2m
[Telegraph]

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Posted: November 11th, 2009 by Richard Gilzene

Man Utd target Luka Modric, Rafa Benitez is very confident, Danielle Bux is attractive


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Looks like someone isn’t very happy with Carlton Cole…
[101GG]

At Eastlands, laryngitis-ridden Liam Gallagher looks like he’s in the kind of mood that would cause a Spoiler editor to waste £75 on a V Festival ticket
[Pies]

Manchester Utd have answered some important questions
[Republik of Mancunia]

Self defence expert Stevie G now faces a civil suit
[The Guardian]

Lineker WAG Danielle Bux is not unattractive
[The Sun]

Manchester Utd to offer £10m and Michael Carrick for man-of-the-moment Luka Modric
[Caught Offside]

Rafa says Liverpool can improve upon last year’s 5-0 decimation of Villa tonight
[The Telegraph]

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Posted: August 24th, 2009 by Ryan Bailey

Ever wondered what Carlton Cole looks like naked?


Us neither, but here it is anyway

Carlton Cole

In order to simultaneously raise awareness of cancer and his own hunky physique, West Ham star Carlton Cole has posed nude for the Cosmopolitan’s annual Naked Centrefold special. (Can you believe it’s that time of year again? RAWR!)

If you are so inclined, click here for video of Mr Cole unencumbered by clothing.

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Posted: June 12th, 2009 by Ryan Bailey

Pick your England team to face Kazakhstan


Kazakhstan/ England, WC Qualifier, Sat, 4pm, Setanta Sports 1

Kazakhstan/ England

The Three Lions could continue their 100 per cent record in 2010 World Cup Qualifiers tomorrow, something that the bookies believe is a near certainty. The Spoiler also believes Fabio Capello will bring three points back to Blighty, and will do so starting with the 4-2-3-1 formation shown above.

We believe Robert Green will earn a cap, thanks to another great domestic season and the costly errors of Mr Robinson and Mr Carson. Matthew Upson was Man of the Match on his last away start for England in Germany, and therefore gets in ahead of Joleon Lescott (who has never really shone at international level) and Gary Cahill, whose newbie status means he’s unlikely to start.

We were toying with putting Michael Carrick in ahead of Gareth ‘Moneybags’ Barry, but the Manchester Utd star was poor in the Champions League final, and his City equivalent has played almost every game under Capello.

Crouchie’s international scoring record is a thing of beauty (13 goals in the last 13 he has started), so he should keep his place over Emile Heskey (whose form has dipped since joining Aston Villa) and Carlton Cole (who has only started once in two months because he got injured on the crappy Wembley pitch).

Let us know your opinions and choices for the starting line-up below…

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Posted: June 5th, 2009 by Ryan Bailey

The Spoiler’s top twenty Premiership goals of 2008/09: #10-1


“Tek a bow, son(s)”

With the 2008/09 campaign finally over, The Spoiler continues to take a look back (part 1 is over here in case you missed it) at the season’s finest goals and our nominations for the ten greatest efforts. Surprisingly, only two strikers make the list…

#10: Fernando Torres - Liverpool 4-0 Blackburn, 11/04/09

Would Liverpool’s season have ended in league glory had Fernando Torres managed to avoid injury? We’ll never know - but surely fans would’ve been treated to more gems like this. Nonchalantly foregoing the traditional practice of actually checking where the net is before hitting the ball, the number 9 scores a spectacular striker’s goal.

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Posted: May 25th, 2009 by Richard Gilzene

Chris Kirkland tips Titus Bramble for an England call-up


Wigan staff try to help one another win Fabio Capello over

Fabio Capello has named a number of unlikely candidates in his England squads over the last twelve months: Joe Lewis, Michael Mancienne, Jimmy Bullard and Carlton Cole to name a few. However, Wigan goalkeeper Chris Kirkland has pushed the boundaries even further by tipping Titus Bramble for a call-up.

The Wigan defender, famed for screw-ups like the ones in the video above, has had a good season but surely still has some way to go before he can justify the label “international standard”, especially considering many other English centre-backs like Phil Jagielka, Matthew Upson and Gary Cahill have impressed this year.

However, talking up one another’s England prospects appears to be in vogue right now at the JJB, as Steve Bruce, who was famously never capped, has put in a good word for Kirkland, labelling him “the best goalkeeper in England”. All that remains now is for Bramble to point out that Bruce should be the next England manager and a perfect triangle will be complete.

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Posted: March 16th, 2009 by Michael Lintorn

Vote: Should the suspension system become more flexible?


Wenger says some fouls should receive harsher punishments

Kevin Nolan is sent off for his foul on Victor Anichebe

Arsenal have had 76 players sent-off under Arsene Wenger but the Frenchman has demanded longer bans for horror tackles, claiming that the FA should create a committee who analyse red card decisions and decide whether the offender should be given a stronger punishment.

The current system is very rigid, whereby a player receive a one-match ban if sent-off for two bookable offences and a three-match ban for a straight red. An extra match is added to the ban if it’s your second red of the season but even that is open to farce.

West Ham’s Carlton Cole is now forced to sit out two games because he cannot appeal the second yellow he received against Wigan for challenging for the ball, leaving the Hammers without their top-scorer as they look to secure European qualification.

Is Wenger right that ten-match bans should be handed out for fouls like Kevin Nolan’s two-footed lunge on Victor Anichebe? Should players be allowed to appeal when unfairly dismissed for two bookings? Let us know what you think with a vote and comment below:

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Posted: March 6th, 2009 by Michael Lintorn

Video: Carlton Cole scores a wonder goal, gets sent off


Crap ref Stuart Attwell strikes again

[Cole’s goal at 2.05, his sending off at 3.10]
Wigan 0/ West Ham 1

West Ham came away from a gritty bout at the JJB with a hard-earned three points last night, but suffered at the hands of more controversial refereeing from Stuart Attwell.

Carlton Cole scored a fantastic goal in the 34th minute, but was dismissed three minutes later when he was given a second yellow for a fairly innocuous challenge. Even Steve Bruce admitted that it wasn’t a sending off, and that Attwell’s approach did nothing to quell the ill-tempered match:

“It wasn’t a sending-off, for goodness sake. There was nothing in it, and the referee needed to show some common sense.

“But I’m afraid Mr Attwell, in my opinion, is not quite ready. And the undercurrent all stemmed from that sending-off.”

26-year-old Attwell is the youngest ever

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Posted: March 5th, 2009 by Ryan Bailey