Looks like someone isn’t very happy with Carlton Cole…
[101GG]
At Eastlands, laryngitis-ridden Liam Gallagher looks like he’s in the kind of mood that would cause a Spoiler editor to waste £75 on a V Festival ticket
[Pies]
In order to simultaneously raise awareness of cancer and his own hunky physique, West Ham star Carlton Cole has posed nude for the Cosmopolitan’s annual Naked Centrefold special. (Can you believe it’s that time of year again? RAWR!)
If you are so inclined, click here for video of Mr Cole unencumbered by clothing.
The Three Lions could continue their 100 per cent record in 2010 World Cup Qualifiers tomorrow, something that the bookies believe is a near certainty. The Spoiler also believes Fabio Capello will bring three points back to Blighty, and will do so starting with the 4-2-3-1 formation shown above.
We believe Robert Green will earn a cap, thanks to another great domestic season and the costly errors of Mr Robinson and Mr Carson. Matthew Upson was Man of the Match on his last away start for England in Germany, and therefore gets in ahead of Joleon Lescott (who has never really shone at international level) and Gary Cahill, whose newbie status means he’s unlikely to start.
We were toying with putting Michael Carrick in ahead of Gareth ‘Moneybags’ Barry, but the Manchester Utd star was poor in the Champions League final, and his City equivalent has played almost every game under Capello.
Crouchie’s international scoring record is a thing of beauty (13 goals in the last 13 he has started), so he should keep his place over Emile Heskey (whose form has dipped since joining Aston Villa) and Carlton Cole (who has only started once in two months because he got injured on the crappy Wembley pitch).
Let us know your opinions and choices for the starting line-up below…
With the 2008/09 campaign finally over, The Spoiler continues to take a look back (part 1 is over here in case you missed it) at the season’s finest goals and our nominations for the ten greatest efforts. Surprisingly, only two strikers make the list…
#10: Fernando Torres - Liverpool 4-0 Blackburn, 11/04/09
Would Liverpool’s season have ended in league glory had Fernando Torres managed to avoid injury? We’ll never know - but surely fans would’ve been treated to more gems like this. Nonchalantly foregoing the traditional practice of actually checking where the net is before hitting the ball, the number 9 scores a spectacular striker’s goal.
Wigan staff try to help one another win Fabio Capello over
Fabio Capello has named a number of unlikely candidates in his England squads over the last twelve months: Joe Lewis, Michael Mancienne, Jimmy Bullard and Carlton Cole to name a few. However, Wigan goalkeeper Chris Kirkland has pushed the boundaries even further by tipping Titus Bramble for a call-up.
The Wigan defender, famed for screw-ups like the ones in the video above, has had a good season but surely still has some way to go before he can justify the label “international standard”, especially considering many other English centre-backs like Phil Jagielka, Matthew Upson and Gary Cahill have impressed this year.
However, talking up one another’s England prospects appears to be in vogue right now at the JJB, as Steve Bruce, who was famously never capped, has put in a good word for Kirkland, labelling him “the best goalkeeper in England”. All that remains now is for Bramble to point out that Bruce should be the next England manager and a perfect triangle will be complete.
Wenger says some fouls should receive harsher punishments
Arsenal have had 76 players sent-off under Arsene Wenger but the Frenchman has demanded longer bans for horror tackles, claiming that the FA should create a committee who analyse red card decisions and decide whether the offender should be given a stronger punishment.
The current system is very rigid, whereby a player receive a one-match ban if sent-off for two bookable offences and a three-match ban for a straight red. An extra match is added to the ban if it’s your second red of the season but even that is open to farce.
West Ham’s Carlton Cole is now forced to sit out two games because he cannot appeal the second yellow he received against Wigan for challenging for the ball, leaving the Hammers without their top-scorer as they look to secure European qualification.
Is Wenger right that ten-match bans should be handed out for fouls like Kevin Nolan’s two-footed lunge on Victor Anichebe? Should players be allowed to appeal when unfairly dismissed for two bookings? Let us know what you think with a vote and comment below:
[Cole’s goal at 2.05, his sending off at 3.10] Wigan 0/ West Ham 1
West Ham came away from a gritty bout at the JJB with a hard-earned three points last night, but suffered at the hands of more controversial refereeing from Stuart Attwell.
Carlton Cole scored a fantastic goal in the 34th minute, but was dismissed three minutes later when he was given a second yellow for a fairly innocuous challenge. Even Steve Bruce admitted that it wasn’t a sending off, and that Attwell’s approach did nothing to quell the ill-tempered match:
“It wasn’t a sending-off, for goodness sake. There was nothing in it, and the referee needed to show some common sense.
“But I’m afraid Mr Attwell, in my opinion, is not quite ready. And the undercurrent all stemmed from that sending-off.”
Scolari’s sacking ruins the Tinkerman’s Champions League plans
Claudio Ranieri was the first of four Chelsea managers ruthlessly axed by Roman Abramovich and the Italian is concerned that the Russian’s latest change of leadership will be bad news for his Juventus side.
While everyone else has questioned the wisdom of sacking a manager in February after the transfer window has shut, the Tinkerman has realised that all the time he spent finding holes in Luiz Felipe Scolari’s tactics, of which there were a fair few, ahead of their upcoming Champions League clashes will count for nothing. Carlton Cole’s number one fan said:
“We could have done without this change.
“Now the players will have an excuse and I, who had studied Scolari’s team by memory, will have to start from the beginning.
“It will be another Chelsea and I will only have two weeks to get to know it.”
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